Augustine’s struggle was not just intellectual or moral. It was a battle of the heart. He knew he should love God, and he even wanted to, but he loved his sin more. Augustine famously said, “I did not persist in enjoyment of my God.” That’s a place many of us have found ourselves—caught between a desire to love God more and an inability to let go of the world.

The turning point came when Augustine stopped trying to love God through effort. He was trapped in a cycle of willpower and failure, much like Christian in The Pilgrim’s Progress, weighed down by sin. He writes, “I began to search for a means of gaining the strength I needed to enjoy you… but I could not find this means until I embraced… Jesus Christ.” Augustine realized that true transformation didn’t come from trying harder, but from embracing Christ.

This is the heart of Augustine’s theology: it’s not about striving to be a better person, but about delighting in God. He said, “How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose. You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy.” Augustine discovered that loving God brings greater joy than anything sin can offer.

Obedience flows naturally from love. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (Jn 14:15 ). Augustine saw this not as a command to force obedience, but as a promise that love for Christ makes obedience joyful and easy.

For Augustine, salvation isn’t just about escaping hell. It’s about finding sovereign joy in God. This joy, given by God, transforms us from the inside out. Romans 5 says, “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit” (Ro 5:5). When we’re captivated by God, sin loses its appeal.

True freedom, Augustine realized, isn’t struggling between good and evil. It’s being so captivated by God that sin no longer entices. We don’t work our way to God. We are drawn to him by grace. God changes our hearts, transforming our desires.

For Augustine, what separates believers from unbelievers isn’t just behavior, but affection. Believers enjoy God more than the world. As he said, “Without exception we all long for happiness… but true joy is found only in God.”

Augustine’s story reminds us that Christianity isn’t about giving up joy. It’s about finding the ultimate joy in God. This sovereign joy is a gift of grace, drawing us away from the “fruitless joys” of the world to delight in Him. Once we taste that joy, nothing else compares.

Recommended reading

The Confessions of Saint Augustine by Augustine
Confessions is essential for understanding Augustine’s spiritual journey and theology of grace.

Desiring God by John Piper
Piper’s modern classic expands on the theme of finding ultimate joy and satisfaction in God.

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