(1994 - 2025) Steven Jobs (no not that Steven Jobs) died somewhat recently at a Meta Team Event promoting dozens of paintings of animal nipples. Jobs (Steven not Steve) spent his career as an intern at Instagram responsible for doing the bubbles and reading everyone's stories. Despite his humble roots as a farm boy who glossed turkey chests, Jobs (again, not that Jobs) rose the ranks at Instagram and eventually got the chance to meet Mark Zuckerberg, Senior Member. His lifelong love of painting allowed him to connect to his roots, and he died doing what he loved: promoting his art on Instagram live. His funeral will be held at a random Tennessee town hall where no nipples will be allowed on screen, only in person. NEW EPISODE THURSDAY.

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