Bonus Episode 5 - Excerpt from the novel
An excerpt from the audiobook of the Welcome to Night Vale novel, narrated by Cecil Baldwin.
Order WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE: A NOVEL: welcometonightvale.com, click on books.
Music: Disparition, disparition.info.
Book Cover Design: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
this episode is all about the welcome tonight Phil novel and so I have a bunch of news that reveal right now about all of that if you did know we have an awful over four hundred pages of brand new Night Vale story coming out on October twentieth what you are about to hear in this bonus episode is the first chapter of that novel directly from the newly recorded audio book it literally was recorded last week more on that in a moment but first and last month we have announced the U K Lite or we have announced a Canada and US live tour well here we are announcing a thirty four because we love you and we hate home so Jeffrey and I will be doing a book tour all over this country to celebrate the release of the Night novel this book tour will feature us in conversation with some of our favorite people including Pink Green and John Carney off the mountain goats and Cecil Baldwin of welcome tonight fill in every event will have a book signing or you can have a scribble all over that nice new book you just bought this tour will be starting on October twenty first the day after the book comes out and will be going to get ready for a big list of places Boston New York City Chicago Ann Arbor St Paul Seattle Portland San Francisco Los Angeles that one town hall a weeknight Atlanta Washington D C Chapel Hill Dallas Waco Austin yes Austin in November you'll get both a live show and a book tour author event to different offense and only one of which will be able to get signatures and to keep that in mind Toronto Milwaukee Philadelphia Brooklyn Jersey City and Miami which is similar to Jersey City that is a lot of places I'm going to be spending a lot of time in airports and doing it all for you and also because of how I make a living some of these events are free some have tickets most of the ones with tickets will be on sale today Chu Lai fifty a few of them will be on sale the next couple weeks ago to welcome to Mayfield dot com and click on live shows for a full list of venues and event details and of course also click on live shows to see more about the UK and Ireland tour this September and the Canada and US tour this October stuffs getting close to selling out on those who don't wait if you can't make one of the book offense or if there's not an event near you you can now preorder a signed copy signed editions are available for pre order from Barnes and Noble Books A Million and Hastings or if you're in Canada and recently I found out not many if you are Canada has a surprisingly low population for its eyes you you can order a signed copy from Indigo and for UK fans which has a surprisingly large population for its size did you know there's twice many people in the UK scan of the wealth water stones is offering in addition with exclusive bonus content oh speaking of the audio book the one you're about to hear an exclusive excerpt from it is narrated of course by our own Cecil Baldwin and features guest voices including Dylan Marin and Rhoda and brand by Nate feels composer desperation it will be a beautiful production of the novel and it could be pre ordered now go to welcome tonight filled up com and click on the novel for pre order links for hardcover signed hardcover ebook and audiobook versions now that's a lot of different versions think of many different ways you can read the story that's all fine use will be back to regular episodes on August first starting with a mixed episode you heard me right see you then and enjoy Chapter one welcomes night Phil and awful the history of the town of Night Vale is long and complicated reaching back thousands of years to the earliest indigenous people in the desert we will cover none of it here suffice it to say that it is a town like many towns with the city hole and a bowling alley the Desert Flower bowling alley and arcade fun complex and a diner the moonlight all night diner and a supermarket Ralph's and of course a community radio station reporting old news that we are allowed to hear all sides it is surrounded by empty desert flat ness is much like your town perhaps it might be more like your town then you'd like to admit it is a friendly desert community where the sun is hot the moon is beautiful and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep well come to Night Vale one pawn shops in Night Vale work like this First you need an item to pawn to get this you need a lot of time behind you years spent living and existing until you've reached a point where you believe that you exist and that a physical item exists and that the concept of ownership exists and that improbable as all those are these absurd beliefs line up in a way that results in you owning an item good job nicely done second once you believe you own an item us reach a point where you need money more than you need the item this is the easiest step just own an item and no nobody with needs and wait the only pawn shop in the town of Night Vale is run by the very young Jackie fee arrow it has no name but if you needed you'll know where it is this knowledge will come suddenly often while you were in the shower you will collapse surrounded by a bright glowing blackness and you will find yourself on your hands the warm water running over you and you will know where the pawn shop is you will smell lost and soap and feel a stab of panic about how alone are it will be like no showers you've taken before you can offer Jackie your item there will first be some hand washing which is why there were bowls of purified water throughout the shop you need to chant a little as you wash your hands you of course should always chant when u wash ur hands it is only hygienic when you have been properly purified he will lay the item on the counter and Jackie will consider it Jackie will have her feet up on the counter she will lean back eleven dollars She will say she will always say eleven dollars you will not respond you are ultimately unnecessary to this process you are ultimately unnecessary no no she will say waving her hand and then she will name her actual price usually it is money sometimes these other things sometimes it is streams experiences visions then you will die but only for little while the item will be given a price tag eleven dollars everything in the pawn shop is that price no matter what she loaned you for it once you're no longer dead she will give you a ticket which later you will be able to exchange for the item or at any time you may look at the ticket and remember the item remembering the item is free you are leaving this story now you were lonely an example and it is probably safer for you not to be in this story anyway Jackie hero squinted out the window at the parking lot there was no one coming she was closing soon relatively speaking she was always closing soon and also always just opening beyond the window was the parking lot and beyond that the desert and beyond that the sky mostly void of partially stars layered from her vantage he was all distance equally un reachable from her post of the counter she had recently turned nineteen she had been recently nineteen For as long as she could remember the pawn shop had been hers for a long time centuries maybe clocks and calendars don't work in Night Vale time itself doesn't work for all her years as the newly nineteen owner of the pawn shop she left the shop only when it was closed and then only to her apartment where she sat with her feet up on the coffee table taking in the community radio local cable news based on what the news told her the outside world seemed a dangerous place there was always somewhat world ending cataclysm threatening Night Vale feral dogs a sentient glowing cloud with the ability to control minds all that low cloud and become less threatening since its election to the local school board old oak doors that lead to a strange desert other world where the current mayor had been trapped for months it seemed safer to not have friends or hobbies to sit at work head down doing her job and then sit at home glass after glass of orange juice radio safe from anything that might disrupt her routine her days were spent in silence mostly void partially thaw some days she would re catalogued her inventory other days she would clean the shelves everyday she would sit and think she would try to think about the day she took over the store there must've been a day like that but she could not think of the specifics she had been doing this for decades she was very young both of these were true at the same time she knew college was the thing nineteen year old stated she knew being unemployed in a difficult job market and living at home was a thing other nineteen year old stated she was content doing neither of those so she continued at the pawn shop she understood the world and replace in it she understood nothing the world and her place in it were nothing and she understood that because of the lack of working time in Night veil she went off or gut feeling about when the shop should close with the feeling came it came and the doors had to be locked removed from their frames and safely hidden the feeling came she swung her feet off the counter a decent day old woman Joe C who lived out by the car lot had come in with a great number of cheap plastic flamingos she had carried them in a large canvas sack and emptied them onto the counter like loose change it is not for myself that I give up these said old woman Josie addressing a bare wall several feet to the right of Jackie in a strong formal voice making the occasional sweeping gesture with her palm but for the future Josie stopped her palm still out Jackie decided the speech was over alright then I'll give you eleven dollars she said old woman Josie tightened her thighs at the bare wall ok Jackie softened prodding at one of the flamingos and looking at its weak plastic belly tell you what I'll give you a good night's sleep old woman Josie shrugged all take it a good night's sleep was a wildly generous offer the flamingos were worthless but there were so many of them and Jackie couldn't help herself she never refused an item be careful not to touch those directly to OC said after she was finished being dead using shop rags Jackie laid the flamingos out side by side on a shelf each one tied with a single handwritten eleven dollar price tag those things should be touched anyway Jackie thought goodbye dear said Josie taking the ticket the Jackie and filled out come by sometime and talk to the Angels they've been asking about you the angels lived with the old woman Josie in her small tract home who's tracked no longer stood leaving it alone at the edge of town the Angels did chores for her and Joe C made a modest income selling items they had touched no one understood why the Angels live with her very little was understood about the Angels somethings were of course angels do not exist it is illegal to consider their existence or even to give them a dollar when they forget bus money and start hovering around the Ralph's asking for change the great hierarchy of angels is a foolish dream and anyway is forbidden knowledge tonight Bill citizens whole of the angels in night they live with Josie out by the car lot there are no angels in nine trail around the middle of the day Jackie had acquired a car it was a Mercedes only a few years old and offered with urgency by a young man wearing a gray pin striped business suit stained with dirt it was impressive how he got the car onto the counter but there is a way these things are done and it had to go on the counter he washed his hands and chanted the water went brown and red she settled on an offer of five dollars talking him down from eleven and he laughed as he took the money and the ticket it's not funny he explained laughing and finally a woman named Diane Creighton arrived late in the afternoon almost closing time according to Jackie's got around you Jackie assed she was unsure why she asked this as Jackie rarely greeted people who came in the store Jackie new hoodie and was she organized PTA fundraisers die and sometimes combine to distribute flyers that said things like Night Vale High School PTA fund drive help give kids the municipality approved education your support is mandatory and appreciated Diane in Jackie's mind look just like a woman who would be an active PTA mom with her kind face and comfortable clothing she also thought Diane looked like a woman who would be a loan officer with her conservative makeup choices and serious demeanor she would look like a pharmacist if she ever were to wear the standard white coat gas mask and hip waders she looked like a lot of things to Jackie mostly she looked like a person lost in both the place and a moment Diane took a handkerchief from her purse without changing her upward distant expression she wept a single tear onto the cloth I'd like to offer this she said finally looking and Jackie Jackie consider the handkerchief that here would dry soon eleven dollars That's the deal she said I'll take it Diane said her loose hanging arms were now drawn up near her purse Jackie took the tear down the handkerchief and gave Diane her ticket and the money after her brief death by and thanked her and hurried out of the shop Jackie tagged that year with its eleven dollar price tag and placed it on a shelf so a decent day Jacki for that the sign on the door to closed her hand touching the window leaving its ghost upon the glass hand raised to say stop or come here or hello or help or maybe only I am here this hand at least is real she looked down to adjust the items on the counter and when she looked up the man was there he was wearing a tan jacket and holding a D or skin suit case he had normal human features he had arms and legs he might have had hair or maybe was wearing a hat everything was normal hello he said My name is Everett Jackie screamed the man was perfectly normal she screamed I'm sorry he said are you close no that's okay I know can I help you Yes I hope so he said there was buzzing coming from somewhere his mouth I have an item I would very much like to Paul on i e she said and waved her hand to indicate everything she might have said next he nodded at her hand thank you for your help have I introduced myself no oh I apologize my name is Emmett they shook hands her hand continued to shake after he let go yes well he said here is the item he said a small slip of paper on the counter on it written in dull and smeared pencil with the words King City the handwriting was shaky and the pencil have been pressed down hard she couldn't stop staring at it although she didn't know what about it was interesting interesting she said no not very sad the man in the tan jacket them and washed his hands and quietly chanted and Jackie forced herself to lean back and put her feet on the counter there is a way these things are done she looked a few times that the man's face but she found she forgot it the moment she stopped looking eleven dollars she said the man Holland and other small voices joined him apparently from within the deer skin suit case where did this come from she asked Why are you offering it to mean what I do with it her voice was high and cracked it did not sound like her at all the man was now a harmonizing with the voices from his suitcase he did not seem to register her questions no no I'm sorry she said fully aware of but unable to stop or pour negotiating technique my mistake thirty dollars and an idea about time done he said smiling was that a smile she gave him the thirty dollars and told him her idea about time that is very interesting he said I've never thought of it that way generally I don't think at all then he died she usually use this time to finish up the paperwork get the ticket ready she did nothing she clutched the slip of paper in her hand he wasn't dead anymore I'm sorry your ticket there's no need he said still possibly smiling she couldn't get a good enough look at his face to tell know your ticket there is a way these things are done she scrawled out a ticket with the Information Tickets always had a random number twelve thousand seven hundred thirty nine the quality of light of the time of transaction fine the general feeling of the weather outside looming her current boss in the future looming but fine and a quick sketch of what she thought hearts should look like instead of the pulsing lumps of straw and clay that Crow cancer liking to our chests when we turned nine years old he took the ticket as she thrust it at him and then thanking her turn to leave goodbye she said King's city said the paper good bye waved at them and saying nothing wait she said You never told me your name oh your right he said hand on door my name is Elliot a pleasure to make your acquaintance the door swung open and shut Jackie held the slip of paper in her hand and sure for the first time in however long her life had been what to do next she felt that her routine and broken for decades had been disrupted that something had gone differently but she also idea why she felt that it was just a slip of paper just clutched in her hand just that she finished her paperwork on the line that said Poland by she stopped she could not remember his name she couldn't even remember his face she looked down at the piece of paper Cain's city she looked up to get a glimpse of him out the window just to jostle her stock memory from the counter she could see the man in the tan jacket outside he was running out to the desert she could just barely see him at the edge of the parking lots radius of light his arms were swinging wildly his suitcase swinging along his legs were flailing great puffs of sand kicked up behind him his head thrown back sweat visible running down his neck even from where she sat the kind of run that was from something and not toward them he left the faint edge of the line and was called The The The