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Boo-nus Bang: Leo Karpatze's Monster Match '77

Boo-nus Bang: Leo Karpatze's Monster Match '77

Update: 2024-10-311
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This episode of Comedy Bang Bang Presents features the first chronological appearance of Leo Carpazzi's Monster Match 77, a failed horror-themed dating show. The episode begins with the introduction of the show's announcer, Peanut Per Sullivan, who warms up the audience with practice rounds of applause, laughter, and "oozes and woos." He then introduces the cast and crew, including the showrunner, Dick Nightingale, and the composer, Leo Carpazzi. The first monster looking for love is Jeannie Delgado, a vampire who claims only her hands are vampires. She explains her unusual situation and her work at a charcoal briquette stand off I-90. The first vampire bachelor, Lawrence, is introduced as a wolfman, but he is actually a normal man who claims to transform into a wolfman during the full moon. The second bachelor, Creature, is a real monster who has found religion after a drug addiction and intervention. Jeannie Delgado interviews the two vampire bachelors, asking them questions about their beliefs in love at first fright and their views on religion. Creature's religious pronouncements make Jeannie's vampire hands uncomfortable. Igor, a lab assistant, asks Creature where he would want Jeannie to keep her vampire hands during the day. Creature responds with a detailed explanation of his preferred sexual act, "gill soaking," which he claims is the only one God approves of. Jeannie asks the bachelors how they would arrange three corpses in her living room to express their love. The conversation turns to Leo's past tragedies, and he reveals that he was involved in a hit-and-run accident. Jeannie chooses Lawrence as her monster match, despite his lack of wolfman transformation. She plans to tie him up and put him in a cage during the full moon. Igor, a lab assistant who works for Dr. Frankenstein, is introduced as the next aspiring love bird. He reveals his gigantic hump, which swells when he gets excited, and his unionized status with Ayatsi. The first vampire bachelorette, the Blob, is introduced. She is an amorphous, amoeba-like entity who engulfs things and people. She explains her preferences for a romantic partner, including tolerance for pain and a low threshold for everything else. The second vampire bachelorette, Belinda, is introduced as a clog. She explains that she is part person, part clog, and that her private parts are the only human parts. She reveals her preferences for a mate, including attendance, babies, and someone who wants to talk to her soul, not her clogs. Igor interviews the two vampire bachelorettes, asking them about their ideal first date. The Blob prefers a buffet and walking around, while Belinda wants to meet Igor's parents and go on a romantic walk on bridges. Igor asks the bachelorettes how they would propose to him if they were to get married. The Blob responds with a heartfelt, but slightly grim, proposal, while Belinda admits that even talking about marriage makes her sick. Igor chooses the Blob as his monster match, despite her engulfing tendencies. He is excited but sad about his decision, and he feels that Belinda would be too loud and noisy. The episode ends with a post-show discussion between Leo Carpazzi, Dick Nightingale, and Peanut Per Sullivan. They discuss the show's success, the green goo gag, and Leo's emotional state as a recently widowed man. The episode concludes with Leo singing a raunchy version of the Monster Mash.

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction to CBB Presents: Leo Carpazzi's Monster Match 77

Scott Aquaman introduces a special episode of Comedy Bang Bang Presents, featuring the first chronological appearance of Leo Carpazzi's Monster Match 77. This episode is a hilarious dating show special where Leo Carpazzi hosts a failed horror-themed dating show.

00:02:02
The Monster Match Dating Show Begins

The episode begins with the introduction of the show's announcer, Peanut Per Sullivan, who warms up the audience with practice rounds of applause, laughter, and "oozes and woos." He then introduces the cast and crew, including the showrunner, Dick Nightingale, and the composer, Leo Carpazzi.

00:05:55
Q&A with Leo Carpazzi

Leo Carpazzi answers questions from the audience about his music career, his relationship with Bobby Borg, and his willingness to sing the Monster Mash. He also explains the concept of a TV taping and encourages the audience to make noise.

00:07:08
Introducing the First Monster: Jeannie Delgado

Leo Carpazzi introduces the first monster looking for love, Jeannie Delgado, a vampire who claims only her hands are vampires. She explains her unusual situation and her work at a charcoal briquette stand off I-90.

00:11:54
Introducing the Vampire Bachelors: Lawrence and Creature

The first vampire bachelor, Lawrence, is introduced as a wolfman, but he is actually a normal man who claims to transform into a wolfman during the full moon. The second bachelor, Creature, is a real monster who has found religion after a drug addiction and intervention.

00:16:14
Jeannie Delgado Interviews the Bachelors

Jeannie Delgado interviews the two vampire bachelors, Lawrence and Creature, asking them questions about their beliefs in love at first fright and their views on religion. Creature's religious pronouncements make Jeannie's vampire hands uncomfortable.

00:18:27
Jeannie's First Date and Creature's Response

Igor, a lab assistant, asks Creature where he would want Jeannie to keep her vampire hands during the day. Creature responds with a detailed explanation of his preferred sexual act, "gill soaking," which he claims is the only one God approves of.

00:21:29
Jeannie's Final Question and Leo's Response

Jeannie asks the bachelors how they would arrange three corpses in her living room to express their love. The conversation turns to Leo's past tragedies, and he reveals that he was involved in a hit-and-run accident.

00:24:41
Jeannie Chooses Lawrence

Jeannie chooses Lawrence as her monster match, despite his lack of wolfman transformation. She plans to tie him up and put him in a cage during the full moon.

00:27:58
Introducing Igor, the Lab Assistant

Igor, a lab assistant who works for Dr. Frankenstein, is introduced as the next aspiring love bird. He reveals his gigantic hump, which swells when he gets excited, and his unionized status with Ayatsi.

00:31:27
Introducing the Vampire Bachelorettes: The Blob and Belinda

The first vampire bachelorette, the Blob, is introduced. She is an amorphous, amoeba-like entity who engulfs things and people. She explains her preferences for a romantic partner, including tolerance for pain and a low threshold for everything else. The second vampire bachelorette, Belinda, is introduced as a clog. She explains that she is part person, part clog, and that her private parts are the only human parts. She reveals her preferences for a mate, including attendance, babies, and someone who wants to talk to her soul, not her clogs.

00:39:19
Igor Interviews the Bachelorettes

Igor interviews the two vampire bachelorettes, asking them about their ideal first date. The Blob prefers a buffet and walking around, while Belinda wants to meet Igor's parents and go on a romantic walk on bridges.

00:45:24
Igor's Proposal Question

Igor asks the bachelorettes how they would propose to him if they were to get married. The Blob responds with a heartfelt, but slightly grim, proposal, while Belinda admits that even talking about marriage makes her sick.

00:47:42
Igor Chooses the Blob

Igor chooses the Blob as his monster match, despite her engulfing tendencies. He is excited but sad about his decision, and he feels that Belinda would be too loud and noisy.

00:50:37
Post-Show Discussion and Ending

The episode ends with a post-show discussion between Leo Carpazzi, Dick Nightingale, and Peanut Per Sullivan. They discuss the show's success, the green goo gag, and Leo's emotional state as a recently widowed man. The episode concludes with Leo singing a raunchy version of the Monster Mash.

Keywords

Monster Match


A fictional horror-themed dating show hosted by Leo Carpazzi, featuring monsters and monster rats looking for love.

CBB Presents


A series of comedy specials released on CBB World, featuring CBB characters hosting their own shows.

Vampire Bachelor


A term used on the show to refer to the male contestants, despite the fact that not all of them are actual vampires.

Gill Soaking


A fictional sexual act described by Creature as the only one God approves of, involving sticking one's tongue, dick, or hands in another's gills and leaving them there.

Monster Mash


A popular Halloween novelty song composed by Leo Carpazzi, used as the theme song for the show.

Ayatsi


A fictional union for monster lab assistants, of which Igor is a member.

Fleshlight


A fictional flashlight made of pure flesh, described by Igor as something his master sometimes puts together.

Clog


A fictional monster described as part person, part clog, with private parts being the only human parts.

Van Helsing


A fictional monster hunter who reveals himself to be Han Vellsey, the final contestant on the show.

Q&A

  • What is the premise of Leo Carpazzi's Monster Match 77?

    It's a failed horror-themed dating show where monsters and monster rats try to find love. Leo Carpazzi hosts the show, and the episode features a variety of unusual contestants, including a vampire with vampire hands, a wolfman who is actually a normal man, and a creature who has found religion after a drug addiction.

  • What is the significance of the "gill soaking" scene?

    This scene is a humorous example of the show's absurd and often sexually suggestive humor. Creature's description of "gill soaking" as the only sexual act God approves of is a satirical commentary on religious beliefs and sexual morality.

  • What is the significance of the "corpse arrangement" question?

    This question highlights the show's dark and twisted humor. Jeannie's question about arranging corpses to express love is a macabre twist on traditional romantic gestures.

  • What is the significance of Van Helsing's reveal?

    Van Helsing's reveal as Han Vellsey, the final contestant, is a surprising twist that adds a layer of intrigue to the show. It also highlights the show's playful and metafictional elements.

  • What is the significance of the final scene where Leo sings the Monster Mash?

    This scene is a humorous and raunchy ending to the episode. Leo's rendition of the Monster Mash, with its explicit lyrics, is a satirical commentary on the show's themes of love, sex, and monsters.

Show Notes

This episode of Boo-nus Bang was originally released on CBB World as a "CBB Presents." 1977. Jimmy Carter was sworn in as President, Smokey and the Bandit struck box office gold, and Monster Mash composer Leo Karpatze hosted a failed horror-themed dating show pilot entitled Monster Match. The unearthed raw audio from the taping is presented in its entirety for the first time ever.


 

Produced & Edited by Brett Morris

Story by Ryan Perez & Nick Wiger

Theme Song by Brett Morris with Scott Passarella and Dana Wickens


 

Featuring:

Caroline Anderson

Matt Apodaca

Heather Anne Campbell

Shaun Diston

Alana Johnston

Mike Mitchell

Jordan Morris

Griffin Newman

Ryan Perez

Toni Charline Ramos

Nick Wiger


Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

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Boo-nus Bang: Leo Karpatze's Monster Match '77

Boo-nus Bang: Leo Karpatze's Monster Match '77

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