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Burger Crimes

Burger Crimes

Update: 2020-11-09
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Lords:




  • April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.

  • Freddie is @fwong on Twitter.



Topics:





Micro topics:




  • Finally, a place for topics.

  • A podcast that is surprisingly not a BDSM podcast.

  • Being the best town for chili with spaghetti because nobody else bothered.

  • A very good part about a hamburger.

  • The potential utility of a hamburger.

  • Wanting each bite of a foodstuff to contain every ingredient.

  • The sleeping baby preventing you from going to Five Guys.

  • A very specific smell manufactured in New Jersey that does not trigger any kind of nostalgia at all.

  • Deciding to stop cooking your fries in beef tallow and needing to add a fake scent to get the old smell back.

  • A burger joint that is the love child of In-N-Out and Dairy Queen.

  • Rating hamburgers by their mouth hinge requirements.

  • The ideal order of ingredients in a hamburger stack.

  • Putting a tomato between the patty and the slice of cheese in a cheeseburger.

  • Burger crimes.

  • Becoming convinced that Democrats really ought to be armed.

  • Years of playing Call of Duty and Counterstrike training you for your role in the revolution.

  • Years of playing The Sims training you for your role in the revolution.

  • Whether George Washington was a gamer.

  • Playing Breath of the Wild long enough to see the cool opening vista and thinking "I definitely don't want to go to these mountains."

  • A very American Truck Simulator approach to playing an open world game.

  • Winching yourself out of the mud.

  • The experience of drawing a map in order to understand your surroundings.

  • Two weeks worth of photos of your TV.

  • Trying to distinguish whether a childhood feeling of a video game came from the game design or came from being a child.

  • Designing puzzles that demand the player take physical notes.

  • The fun of inconvenience.

  • Playing D&D and catching the cartography bug.

  • Capturing the joy of a blank piece of paper.

  • A game about paperwork.

  • The video game expanding beyond the executable file you run.

  • Gambling with the game's demo to change the full game's price.

  • What it would take to stream Breath of the Wild.

  • Tiny little leaf people hiding all over the world each hovering with a tiny leaf they spin like a helicopter blade.

  • Hestu's incredible maraca dance.

  • Tattooing the entire DK Rap across your back.

  • An attractive person remaining attractive even when wearing a goofy outfit.

  • Staying home to take care of your kid and not sending them to daycare during a pandemic.

  • Changing your sleep schedule from waking up at 11am to waking up at 7am.

  • Vitamin D: turns out we need it.

  • Being unable to sleep in even though you used to be a sleeping in champion.

  • Being tired because it's the end of the day.

  • Making dinner and becoming a puddle on whatever surface you happen to land on.

  • Going camping because you have a kid when you would never care enough to go camping if it was just you.

  • Downloading Youtube tutorials on how to split a log so you can impress your kid when you go camping.

  • Using digital puppetry to make an anime avatar play video games on Twitch.

  • Cranking out content 24/7.

  • Livestreamers taking a vacation and losing 20% of their viewers.

  • The Tupac hologram except playing Fortnite on Twitch.

  • Producing a CG animation TV show where all the animation is live puppeteering.

  • Exhuming Tupac so you can do a body scan for the hologram concert tour.

  • Indiana Jones except with a really tiny head.

  • The career prospects of Indiana Jones themed strippers.

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Burger Crimes

Burger Crimes

Jim Stormdancer