Welcome back to Soul Kink Therapy! In this incredibly special episode, I'm welcoming my former client.

For over a decade, he lived a secret double life as a submissive man, seeing professional dominants while maintaining a “good person” facade in his everyday world.

He joins me today to share his profound journey of coming out as kinky, navigating the painful end of a long-term marriage due to secrecy and shame, and ultimately finding liberation through our therapeutic kink work together.

We dive deep into the initial thrill and fear of exploring kink, the unexpected bedrock of truth he found in a long-term relationship with his Dom. The earth-shattering moment he realized that the parts of himself he'd hidden away—the aggressive, dominant parts—were not only acceptable but deeply desired.

He shares his experience of moving from being completely disconnected from his body and emotions to embracing the full spectrum of his being, including the deliciousness of becoming a switch.

This is a powerful testament to the healing potential of kink when approached with intention and courage.

00:00 - 03:00 - Welcome to Soul Kink Therapy with Thomas Covenant03:00 - 07:15 - Thomas's Early Kink Discoveries & The Need to Escape07:15 - 10:45 - The Journey into Seeing Pro-Doms & Meeting His Goddess10:45 - 14:10 - The Bedrock of Truth: The Long-Term Dom/Sub Relationship14:10 - 17:15 - Kink as Truth vs. Theater: A Key Distinction17:15 - 20:40 - The "Good Person" Trap: Hiding the Authentic Self20:40 - 25:35 - Coming Out as Kinky: Facing the Fear of Rejection25:35 - 30:50 - The Painful Process of Honesty & Ending a Marriage30:50 - 33:15 - Finding Therapeutic Kink Support (How Thomas Found Emily)33:15 - 37:35 - The Shock of Embodiment: Feeling Emotions for the First Time37:35 - 41:10 - Unpacking the Fear of Dominance & The "Inner Asshole"41:10 - 45:15 - The Earth-Shattering Moment: Realizing Aggression Can Be Desired45:15 - 47:45 - Integrating the Inner Dom: Meeting "Avi" (My Father)47:45 - 51:25 - The Deliciousness of Being a Switch: Steak vs. Dessert51:25 - 55:25 - Thomas's Advice: Put Yourself at Risk (Safely)55:25 - 56:47 - Final Thoughts & How to Get Support