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Conjure A False Gobot

Conjure A False Gobot

Update: 2019-11-04
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Lords:





Topics:





Microtopics:




  • Lord enthusiasm.

  • Thinking of Ghostbusters because you can't imagine a firefighter.

  • Foraging for oats on the top floor of a fire station.

  • Installing a pole because your infant son can't descend stairs.

  • Finding a horse in a tree.

  • Playing CLOP to learn empathy for the descending horse.

  • Replacing a spiral staircase with a normal staircase.

  • The entire city burning down because the firefighters can't get past the horse that's stuck on the landing.

  • Becoming a morning person because of your government job.

  • Your child possibly loving the daycare lady more than he loves you.

  • Taking melatonin because you don't have the discipline for not looking at screens before bed.

  • The shitty dreams of melatonin boot camp.

  • Gnawing on the melatonin and leaving it on the nightstand for next time.

  • Your body getting stuck on a particular sleep schedule long past its relevance.

  • Hypothesizing how much long-lasting damage you did with your teenage sleep habits.

  • Focusing better because everyone else is asleep.

  • Working until 4am because you're being so productive.

  • Not knowing how ads work because you have an ad-blocker installed.

  • Finding about how ads work from an 11 year old.

  • Your alternate reality self who enjoys a good advertisement now and again.

  • Maintaining the pace of film trailers for over an hour.

  • Mistaking the trailer before the movie as being part of the movie.

  • Nobody being fooled by your fake trailer because people don't watch movies in theaters any more.

  • Avoiding watching Bandersnatch because you're a completionist.

  • The technical difficulties of adding late choice points to an otherwise linear film.

  • Being nostalgic for old UIs of web services.

  • Finding a web page that hasn't changed in 15 years.

  • Finding a web page that looks 15 years old but also has a mobile style sheet.

  • Editing an innocuous fact on Wikipedia that nobody will bother to fact-check.

  • Asking to view a historical document and sneaking in a quill pen and inkwell to modify it.

  • Citing your doctored document on Wikipedia.

  • Befriending a history professor and asking them to mention your fake Kansas senator in a published paper.

  • Falsifying movie running times just because you can get away with it.

  • Citing an obscure magazine as your source on Wikipedia because nobody will bother to check.

  • Clinging to the scraps of the past that you've salvaged from eBay and garage sale VHS tapes.

  • Poor documentation of pop culture leading to compelling mysteries.

  • Drowning true information with false information.

  • The downside of having a unique Google string.

  • Having repercussions on all levels of nested reality.

  • Dreams as really lazy storytelling.

  • Remembering facts without remembering their origin.

  • Getting stuck opening a door to mask dream loading time.

  • Making up any old bullshit and being convinced it's a Beatles rarity.

  • Desperately fleeing from the "The End" title card.

  • Realizing your dream is actually just the plot of The Neverending Story.

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Conjure A False Gobot

Conjure A False Gobot

Jim Stormdancer