DiscoverGoGen Japanese (Language & Culture)Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)
Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)

Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)

Update: 2025-05-14
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When is a couple officially a couple? Dive deep into the fascinating (and sometimes confusing!) differences between dating cultures in Japan and the US. For more Japanese-language cultural resources, visit https://www.gogenlanguages.com/


In this episode we unpack:

• Unspoken dating expectations in Japan vs. the U.S.

• Key terms—kokuhaku (告白), shinken na otsukiai (真剣なお付き合い), niyowase (匂わせ), honmei (本命), kekkon zentei no otsukiai (結婚前提のお付き合い)—and why “I like you” carries different weight.

• How third-date rules, dating apps, and public declarations collide across cultures.

• Indirect status checks like the infamous “Christmas question.”


If you’ve ever been puzzled by relationship norms, this candid chat will deliver plenty of aha! moments.


IMPROVE YOUR JAPANESE

Listen to our FREE Dating & Relationships mini-course at https://www.gogenlanguages.com/


Website: https://www.gogenlanguages.com/

Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/77hb4wt5


YouTube channels

https://www.youtube.com/@GoGenLanguages

https://www.youtube.com/@GoGenJapanese


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/

X / Twitter: https://tinyurl.com/35kunt5y


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00:00 The elusive “official couple” in Japan

00:43 Assumptions in Japanese vs. U.S. dating

01:00 Situationships & misunderstandings

02:07 Navigating a situationship in the U.S.

04:54 “I like you”: decoding the phrase

09:02 Shinken na Otsukiai & dating apps

11:13 "Kekkon o Zentei ni" Dating with marriage in mind

14:40 Public declarations & the “What are we?” talk (Facebook Status Era)

16:13 The “Christmas question”: Indirect Ways to Gauge Relationship Status

18:17 "Niyowase": soft-launching on social media

25:51 "Honmei": who is “The Real One”? (And "Honmei Choco")

14:40 Physical relationships & the third-date rule

29:00 Birthdays as a romantic milestone

31:42 Physical Relationships ("Nikutai Kankei") & The Third Date Rule

32:10 Final Thoughts & Learning More About Romance in Japan


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Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)

Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)

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