Dating in Japan - "kokuhaku"? (PART 3) When is a couple officially a couple? (#2-3)
Description
When is a couple officially a couple? Dive deep into the fascinating (and sometimes confusing!) differences between dating cultures in Japan and the US. For more Japanese-language cultural resources, visit https://www.gogenlanguages.com/
In this episode we unpack:
• Unspoken dating expectations in Japan vs. the U.S.
• Key terms—kokuhaku (告白), shinken na otsukiai (真剣なお付き合い), niyowase (匂わせ), honmei (本命), kekkon zentei no otsukiai (結婚前提のお付き合い)—and why “I like you” carries different weight.
• How third-date rules, dating apps, and public declarations collide across cultures.
• Indirect status checks like the infamous “Christmas question.”
If you’ve ever been puzzled by relationship norms, this candid chat will deliver plenty of aha! moments.
IMPROVE YOUR JAPANESE
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00:00 The elusive “official couple” in Japan
00:43 Assumptions in Japanese vs. U.S. dating
01:00 Situationships & misunderstandings
02:07 Navigating a situationship in the U.S.
04:54 “I like you”: decoding the phrase
09:02 Shinken na Otsukiai & dating apps
11:13 "Kekkon o Zentei ni" Dating with marriage in mind
14:40 Public declarations & the “What are we?” talk (Facebook Status Era)
16:13 The “Christmas question”: Indirect Ways to Gauge Relationship Status
18:17 "Niyowase": soft-launching on social media
25:51 "Honmei": who is “The Real One”? (And "Honmei Choco")
14:40 Physical relationships & the third-date rule
29:00 Birthdays as a romantic milestone
31:42 Physical Relationships ("Nikutai Kankei") & The Third Date Rule
32:10 Final Thoughts & Learning More About Romance in Japan