DiscoverThe Bill Simmons PodcastDetroit Survives, Week 1 Panic Rankings, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
Detroit Survives, Week 1 Panic Rankings, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Detroit Survives, Week 1 Panic Rankings, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Update: 2024-09-094
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This podcast episode dives into the aftermath of Week 1 in the NFL, with Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal dissecting the performances of various teams and offering their opinions on the season's early trends. They begin by analyzing the "Panic Rankings," a list of teams that are considered to be in danger of having a disappointing season based on their Week 1 performance. The duo discusses teams like the Atlanta Falcons, Cleveland Browns, and Cincinnati Bengals, debating whether their struggles are cause for concern or simply early-season hiccups. Next, they shift their focus to the "Nobody Believes in Us Rankings," a list of teams that are considered to be underdogs despite their Week 1 results. They highlight teams like the Pittsburgh Steelers, Los Angeles Chargers, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, arguing that these teams have the potential to surprise despite not being widely favored. The episode also features a preview of Week 2 matchups, with Simmons and Sal offering their insights on key games and storylines. They discuss the Miami Dolphins' victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Chiefs vs. Bengals matchup, and the potential for upsets in games like the Jets vs. Titans. Throughout the episode, Simmons and Sal share their opinions on various players and teams, offering their unique perspectives on the NFL landscape. They also discuss the impact of the NFL's decision to play games on Friday nights, the challenges of navigating parenthood, and the importance of staying informed about the latest news and developments in the league.

Outlines

00:02:13
Week 1 NFL Recap and Panic Rankings

Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal discuss the Rams-Lions game, with Sal expressing his lack of faith in Goff. They then dive into the "Panic Rankings," starting with Atlanta and Cleveland, both of whom had disappointing Week 1 performances.

00:10:01
Panic Rankings: Browns and Falcons

Bill and Sal debate the Browns' panic ranking, with Bill arguing that their performance against the Cowboys was a sign of things to come. They also discuss the Falcons' struggles and whether they should be considered a panic team.

00:13:11
Panic Rankings: Cowboys and Bengals

Bill and Sal discuss the Cowboys' dominant win over the Browns, with Bill acknowledging his mistake in predicting the Browns as favorites. They then move on to the Bengals, who had a disappointing loss to the Patriots.

00:16:31
Panic Rankings: Steelers and Giants

Bill and Sal continue their panic rankings, discussing the Steelers' win over the Falcons and the Giants' embarrassing loss to the Cowboys. They also discuss the potential for the Giants to make a coaching change.

00:21:52
Panic Rankings: Bengals and Patriots

Bill and Sal discuss the Bengals' disappointing loss to the Patriots, with Bill expressing his concern about Burrow's lack of willingness to throw deep. They also discuss the Patriots' impressive performance.

00:25:34
Panic Rankings: Packers and Eagles

Bill and Sal discuss the Packers' struggles in their loss to the Eagles, with Bill expressing his concern about their quarterback situation. They also discuss the Eagles' impressive performance.

00:29:31
Panic Rankings: Panthers and Titans

Bill and Sal discuss the Panthers' disappointing loss to the Saints, with Bill expressing his concern about Bryce Young's performance. They also discuss the Titans' loss to the Bears, with Bill criticizing Ryan Tannehill's play.

00:33:20
Panic Rankings: Giants and Chargers

Bill and Sal continue their panic rankings, discussing the Giants' embarrassing loss to the Cowboys and the Chargers' win over the Raiders. They also discuss the potential for the Giants to make a coaching change.

00:37:26
Nobody Believes in Us Rankings

Bill and Sal discuss the "Nobody Believes in Us Rankings," starting with the Steelers, who they believe are a team that nobody expects to be good. They also discuss the Chargers, who they believe are a team that nobody expects to make the playoffs.

00:42:36
Nobody Believes in Us Rankings: Buccaneers and Cardinals

Bill and Sal continue their "Nobody Believes in Us Rankings," discussing the Buccaneers, who they believe are a team that nobody expects to be good. They also discuss the Cardinals, who they believe are a team that nobody expects to make the playoffs.

Keywords

Panic Rankings


A list of teams that are considered to be in danger of having a disappointing season, based on their Week 1 performance.

Nobody Believes in Us Rankings


A list of teams that are considered to be underdogs, based on their Week 1 performance and their overall expectations for the season.

Bryce Young


The first overall pick in the 2023 NFL Draft, Young is a quarterback for the Carolina Panthers who is expected to be a franchise cornerstone.

Tyreek Hill


Tyreek Hill is a wide receiver for the Miami Dolphins. He is known for his speed, agility, and ability to make big plays. He was arrested in the offseason for an incident involving a woman.

Pretty Girl Show


A show hosted by Don Barris on Twitch, featuring a variety of guests, including the host's son, Jack. The show is known for its unique format and its focus on entertainment.

Empty Nester


A term used to describe parents whose children have grown up and moved out of the house. It often refers to a period of adjustment and change for parents as they navigate a new phase of life.

Poop Fecta


A term used to describe a game that is not considered to be watchable or interesting. It is often used in a humorous or sarcastic way.

Q&A

  • What are the "Panic Rankings" and how are they determined?

    The "Panic Rankings" are a list of teams that are considered to be in danger of having a disappointing season, based on their Week 1 performance. The rankings are determined by Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal, who take into account a variety of factors, including the team's overall talent, their coaching staff, and their schedule.

  • What are the "Nobody Believes in Us Rankings" and how are they determined?

    The "Nobody Believes in Us Rankings" are a list of teams that are considered to be underdogs, based on their Week 1 performance and their overall expectations for the season. The rankings are determined by Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal, who take into account a variety of factors, including the team's overall talent, their coaching staff, and their schedule.

  • What is the most memorable moment from the Miami Dolphins' victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars?

    Tyreek Hill's impressive touchdown, where he made a 90-degree turn with two defenders on him and kept his speed full speed, was a highlight of the game.

  • What is the "Pretty Girl Show" and why is the host's wife upset about it?

    The "Pretty Girl Show" is a show hosted by Don Barris on Twitch, featuring a variety of guests, including the host's son, Jack. The host's wife is upset because she believes the show is inappropriate for Jack.

  • What is the impact of children getting their driver's licenses on family dynamics?

    Children getting their driver's licenses often leads to a decrease in family interaction as they gain independence and spend more time away from home. This can be a challenging adjustment for parents.

Show Notes

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Lions’ overtime win vs. the Rams, Tom Brady’s NFL broadcast debut, and Week 1 panic rankings, including the Falcons, Browns, Bengals, and more (2:12 ). Then they run through Week 1's "Nobody believes in us" rankings, including the Steelers, Patriots, and Chargers. They also talk Cardinals-Bills, Broncos-Seahawks, Packers-Eagles, and Dolphins-Jaguars (37:26 ) before guessing the lines for NFL Week 2 (1:00:54 ). Finally, they close the show with Parent Corner (1:23:24 ).


Host: Bill Simmons

Guest: Cousin Sal

Producer: Kyle Crichton



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Detroit Survives, Week 1 Panic Rankings, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Detroit Survives, Week 1 Panic Rankings, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Ringer