DiscoverCounselor Toolbox PodcastDeveloping Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy
Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Update: 2020-02-082
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466 – Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy


Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

Executive Director, AllCEUs Counseling Continuing Education

Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox, Case Management Toolbox


https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/1030/c/


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Objectives

• Understand what self esteem and self-efficacy are, why they are important and how to develop them


The Nature of Self-Esteem

• How people feel about theirself in contrast to who people think people “should” be

• The more rejecting people are of theirself, the more

• Distress people experience

• people seek external validation or withdraw

• In order to develop healthy relationships people need to

• Feel good about theirself

• Get in touch with theirself and their true values

• Believe people are a lovable and worthwhile person

• Choose actions in harmony with their true self


The Gift of Mindfulness

• Teaches people to live in the moment

• Not stuck in guilt or resentment of the past

• Not paralyzed by fear of the future

• Putting one foot in front of the other

• Cornerstone of mindfulness is acceptance

• Nonjudgmental

• Letting be

• Patient

• Mindfulness teaches that when people trust theirself and act with awareness and purpose people become more self reliant


Note: The book will give people access to online, recorded versions of several meditations


Impact of Mindlessness

• Ignoring or invalidating how people feel

• Failing to integrate feelings, thoughts, sensations and urges

• Running on autopilot and not making time for the things that are important (getting us closer to our ideal selves)

• Blindly adopting mainstream messages of who/what we should be

• Not in harmony with who we really want to be

• Not achievable or realistic

Developing a Self-Concept and Efficacy

• You are more than your accomplishments or your bank account.

• What do you want to stand for (values)?

• Download a values list and circle the ones that are important to you.

• Identify how you CURRENTLY demonstrate those.

• Identify other ways you could demonstrate those.

• What things do you do that go against your values? (i.e. impatience)

• What could you start doing today to address one of those?


Developing a Self-Concept

• What things are you good at, and what are your accomplishments?

• What traits/values do those accomplishments and strengths represent? Success, courage, determination, creativity, compassion

• How would your friends describe you?

• Loyal, compassionate, caring, honest…

• How do you demonstrate those?

• Self Esteem Acronym (THINK)


Breathing and the Body

• The constant noise often keeps people from addressing the underlying issues of emotional turmoil

• Life becomes focused on treading water

• Forward goals are exchanged for just surviving

• This reduces self-efficacy

• Mindfulness and self-awareness help people quiet their thoughts

• By making contact with the present moment people can:

• Find their strength

• Learn to grow

• Choose how people wish to respond

Activities

• A Deep Full Breath

• Abdominal breathing signals the brain to slow down and relax. “Rest and digest”

• Simply paying attention to breath often causes it to slow down

• Feel the loving touch (their Breath)

• Life begins and ends with breath

• Breathing helps relax the body and move Qi

• Add visual and auditory breathing reminders

Activities cont…

• In and Out

• Do a body scan and yay attention to what their body is trying to tell them

• Inhale and take in positive affirmations

• Make a list of 1-3 affirmations

• Exhale and let go of stress and negative energy

• Envision stress leaving like a wave/cloud/balloon

• Note: This can also be done with bubbles

• Practice noticing points of tension/tightness/heaviness and feel them relax or loosen as they exhale

• Develop confidence that they can feel feelings and not have to impulsively act.


Thinking and the Mind

• An Impartial Witness (Fly on the wall)

• Stop Sorting (into good and bad)

• See the Whole Room, Not Just the Elephant

• The issue

• The strengths

• Everything/everyone involved

• Check the Hecklers

• Identify self talk

• Examine its source and reliability.

• No Blame

Emotions and the Heart

• Spaciousness

• Recognize all the emotions contained within their heart

• Cultivate warm heartedness

• Plant your garden (What are you going to use your energy to cultivate?)

• Tend and befriend

• Count your Blessings

• Delight for Others

Being in the World

• Claim Emotional Baggage

• Don’t let it stay on the conveyor

• Don’t give it to someone else

• Listen—Just Listen

• Listen to hear and understand (self and others)

• Speak with Compassion (To self and others)

• Write a Job Description

• Goals

• Duties


Mindfulness to Increase Self-Efficacy

• Reflect daily on how they embodied the values most important to them

• Value progress over perfection

• Develop self compassion

• Use backward chaining to identify vulnerabilities which may have contributed to mindless behavior

Summary

• Self esteem begins in childhood

• Being aware of self helps people identify their strengths and develop their “me” identity.

• Part of self esteem development includes

• Values identification

• Understanding wants vs. needs

• Addressing cognitive distortions

• Being aware of sensations, feelings and thoughts

• Helps choose behaviors which are in unison with values

• Helps support people through the difficult moments

• Silences the critics

• Clarifies who people are and what people want

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Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

Charles Snipes