E29 - Nick Duffell - Understanding Ex-Boarding School Men's Marriages
Description
In this powerful episode, Pete Hunt sits down with Nick Duffell, psychotherapist, author, and pioneer of work around boarding school trauma. They explore why so many high-achieving men with these privileged backgrounds feel emotionally stuck, the hidden impact of early survival strategies, and how intimacy becomes one of life’s greatest challenges. A raw and essential listen for men navigating midlife, relationships, and identity.
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction
01:29 – Why relationships are so hard for men
04:46 – Boarding school and emotional shutdown
07:52 – The missing emotional training
11:15 – Listening as a lost skill
15:08 – Survivor roles and disconnection
22:04 – The gift of emotional energy
24:06 – The mother wound
32:00 – The child self in adult relationships
36:10 – Institutional life vs. intimacy
43:00 – The missing father figure
47:02 – Mentorship and male role models
50:00 – The impact of porn and overstimulation
53:40 – Power through vulnerability
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