In this episode, Colleen draws from Keira Bobinet’s Unstoppable Brain to unpack how perfectionism wires the brain for shame and shutdown. The real shift isn’t about tallying wins and losses—it’s about adopting an iterative mindset, where results are just feedback and every moment is a new chance to adjust. When you stop chasing the highs to avoid the lows, you stop living on a scoreboard and start reclaiming your power.

One of the biggest mistakes women make when they start changing their drinking is believing early wins mean they’ve “arrived.” A mindful weekend or a stretch of moderation feels like victory—but if you tie your worth to performance, a setback feels like failure. And that’s the trap.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Early wins are encouraging—but they’re not the finish line.
  
  

• Performance-based self-worth keeps you stuck in shame and relapse.
  
  

• The iterative mindset: there’s no failure, only feedback and strategy adjustments.
  
  

• Painful emotions don’t reveal your worth—they point to distorted beliefs ready to be cleared.
  
  

• Your power comes from taking action without waiting for guarantees, and trusting yourself to respond no matter the outcome.

If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. 

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air! 

Find me on:

YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer

TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer 

X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

Transcript