Ep 243: Rochelle Gapere – One Happy Day at a Time
Are you a glass half-empty or half-full sort of person? What if there was another way to see it? That is, that the glass is refillable.
No matter what you go through in life, you have the power to choose to fill and refill your life with what makes you happy. Filling your life with happiness starts from within.
Today’s guest is the best-selling author of One Happy Thought at a Time: 30 Days to a Happier You - Rochelle Gapere. She teaches readers how to live a life that fulfills and engages them at every level. Through shared personal stories, anecdotes and life lessons, her book teaches readers how to become a happier version of themselves despite life's inevitable challenges. In her book, she shares life lessons that will empower readers to make happiness-enhancing decisions each day.
Happiness looks different for everyone. For some it may be being at peace with who you are. For others, it may be having a secure network of friends and a family who accept you unconditionally. Others may find happiness with the freedom to pursue their life goals and wildest dreams.
Regardless of your version of true happiness, living a happier and more fulfilling life is within reach. But the question is, how do we find more joy in our life? Like anything else, it takes practice to cultivate ongoing happiness.
Happiness coach, Rochelle Gapere, shares with us her insights and knowledge on creating a life of happiness.
Rochelle wanted to be an attorney ever since she was a child. She always liked talking a lot, and advocating on behalf of people, especially the underdog. During her early years in school, her classmates who were experiencing challenges or problems would approach her and she would fix it.
She always had a passion for helping people and fighting for the underdog. Because of this passion, she knew that going into law school and becoming a lawyer made the most sense.
LEARNING FROM THE JOURNEY
What you think you want may be different from what you actually want in life.
As a child, Rochelle’s dream was to become a lawyer. However, when Rochelle started law school, she realized it was not her real passion and she could not imagine herself doing this forever. But the thought of dropping out of law school did not occur to her because she had the mindset of finishing what she started. So she pushed on, finished law school, and became a lawyer.
However, she soon realized that being an attorney is not all that it seems. TV and the media do not accurately portray legal life or the life of a lawyer.
For Rochelle, going into law school was eye-opening. Her advice for her younger self and all other younger people chasing their dreams, is to explore what you are passionate about. Explore your interests and meet other people in your industry so that you will discover what it is you actually want to do versus what you think you want to do.
That’s a huge difference.
After law school, Rochelle had a few years of experience working in corporate law, but found that there was more out there for her. She knew big law was not for her. This is when she ventured into new spaces.
Looking back, Rochelle says she doesn’t have any regrets with the choices she made because law has opened up so many doors for her. She believes that she had to go through all that she did in order to get to where she is now.
[bctt tweet="“Explore what you are passionate about. Explore your interests and meet other people in your industry so that you will discover what it is you actually want to do versus what you think you want to do. That’s a huge difference.” @rochellegapere #chasingdreams" username="aimeej21"]
WHY BECOME A HAPPINESS COACH?
Once Rochelle graduated from law school and started working, there was always a knowing sensation that being a lawyer was not her calling. She started an event marketing company which filled the void for a while.
But each year, the voice in her head kept growing louder, telling her that there has to be more. She constantly asked herself: What can I do? What should I be doing? What will fulfill me with passion every single morning?”
This constant voice in her head pushed her to start digging even deeper and ask herself what will ultimately fulfill her. In the midst of seeking the answer, she remembers asking God why he put her on earth and what her purpose was.
Aside from her journey towards finding her true purpose, she was also going through a long-term relationship that ended. Before the relationship ended, she was helping her partner at the time to live out his dreams and fulfill his purpose, attaching herself to his dreams and goals. For a while that was okay, but when the relationship got uncomfortable and ended, she was left asking herself, “know what?”
She knew that even if her relationship ended, one area of her life being bad did not mean that her entire life was bad. Despite the heartbreaking experience, she always saw the positive side of life.
Her heartbreaking experience led to her aha moment. That’s when she decided to put her experience down on paper. She journaled her own thoughts and feelings and started sharing them with the world through social media. Her happiness had plummeted so bad that she did everything she could to get back that joy she once had and she did this by sharing her journey with others who might need a boost of inspiration.
As she was putting out that joy by sharing them on social media, people were giving her the energy back to build back her confidence. From this experience, she found out that she loved learning about happiness. From her heartbreak and rejection, she was able to discover her true purpose and calling or helping others find their own happiness in life.
[bctt tweet="“One area of my life being bad does not mean my entire life is bad.” @rochellegapere #chasingdreams" username="aimeej21"]
EVERY SEASON IN YOUR LIFE IS NECESSARY
From her heartbreaking experience when her long-term relationship ended to her career journey and trying to find her passion, today, Rochelle is able to testify that everything is working together for the greater good. She would not be where she is today if she did not go through all that she did. Rochelle has learned that every season in life is necessary.
HAVING AN ABUNDANCE MINDSET
Did you ever tell yourself that you will be happier when you have the perfect partner, or your dream job, or that perfect house? How many times have you lived less because you had the wrong definition of happiness?
Ultimately, you can reach and attain all those things, but if you aren’t content with yourself, you’ll never feel fully satisfied or happy. You can have all those things but still feel lacking in life.
People think that happiness is outside of themselves when really, it all starts within. When you have an abundance mindset, there is no limit to happiness. Having an abundance mindset helps you see that once you are alive, you have hope. Once you have a pulse, you have possibility.
The life that we dream starts the moment we choose. If you put in your head that you will only be happy when this or that happens, then you are postponing your happiness. When you postpone your happiness, you are under the belief that you have 2 more years or 5 more years on this earth. But the truth is, no one knows how long we have on earth. So live your life fully. Create your happiness today.
[bctt tweet="“There is no limit to happiness when you have an abundance mindset. Once you are alive, you have hope. Once you have a pulse, you have possibility.” @rochellegapere #chasingdreams" username="aimeej21"]
LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY
What if you had one year left to live? Or one month? Or even just one more day to live? How would you spend it? Would it have mattered if you lost the 50 pounds or would it have mattered if you got your dream car? If tomorrow was your last day on earth, would you want to live your life doing what you are doing now?
For Rochelle, she made sure that if tomorrow was her last day on earth she would spend it soaking up the joy and the love of the people who care about her.
[bctt tweet="“The only thing we can control in life is this present moment. We need to have that self awareness that the present moment is an absolute gift.” @rochellegapere #chasingdreams" username="aimeej21"]
HOW DO WE FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?
So, with all that said about living your life to the fullest and finding happiness within, the question is, how do we find out what makes us truly happy?
Today, we are bombarded with so much outside noise that we don’t know what matters to us. This is why self-reflection is an important tool to finding yourself. Spend quiet time with yourself and get still. You’ll be surprised that once you start hearing your thoughts, you’ll start hearing and becoming more confident about the things that matter to you.
Another powerful way to find out what makes us happy is by tapping in to our inner child. There is something about that child-like wonder and joy. Tap into the eight-year old version of you. Think about the times when you felt most joy. Who were you with? What were you doing? That starts clueing you in to some of the things that you enjoy.
If you remember going to the beach with your family, ask yourself when was the last time you went to the beach? Why aren’t you incorporating beach time or quality family time in your life?
Did you feel fulfilled reading a book and getting lost in your own little world? So then,