“Walk the walk. Talk the talk.” – MEA Ep #3 2019 Season Show Notes

1. Intro – In today’s episode of MEA we are learning how to practice radical self-acceptance the daily practice of self-love, because self-love is true love and when you learn how to be the essence of love, your reality will reflect that back to you. That’s fulfillment! Embodying love is how you receive love. And remember the love that we strive for is not the sensationalized notion of love, but the authentic meaning of love. Relationships are a reflection of your worth back to you. When you love yourself fully, you get that reflected back to you. However, if you lack self-love, you will get that reflected back to you. So we must learn how to break through the limited thinking that says that you’re not enough in order to create the space needed for mindful action and its in that mindful action, that you can reauthor your life, aligned to love.
2. Review of topics:
   1. Learn what radical self-acceptance is (the process of shifting thoughts by mindful action)
   2. The importance of reauthoring (shifting beliefs and choosing love)
   3. The step-by-step process of RSA…so let’s dive in!
3. RSA
   1. Daily practice of self-love – think of it like connecting to the part of your mind that sounds like the most loving and accepting person you know, this could be your best friend, maybe a family member, or even a role model of yours, whoever that is, think about the things they would say to you when you are doubting yourself – RSA allows you to connect to that place, in other words, you connect to your higher self, your higher self is that cheerleader – that person cheering you on because they believe in who you are
      1. Let’s be real, we say some pretty gnarly things to ourselves. We all have the ability to go there and I’ve certainly been there.
      2. Maybe you dropped your coffee on yourself on the way to work and the immediate thought is “ugh I’m such an idiot…why am I always so clumsy?!”

• Or it can go even deeper and become more sinister like if that person doesn’t text you back right away and the thoughts start saying “see you said too much and now they are ignoring you”… “I will always be alone”.

1. Or after that breakup the fearful thoughts say “I’m never gonna be loved. There’s just something wrong with me. What is wrong with me? I am so lost. It just hurts so much and why can’t anyone ever love me? I’m trying to be what I’m supposed to and all I want is to love someone and have that given back to me. I’m just never gonna be good enough and I should just settle”.
2. You know these are things that I’ve said to myself. It’s awful to feel like something is wrong with you and when you’ve felt rejected so many times, it’s almost like you get stuck in a rerun of despair.
3. I used to think that if I just perfected this area of my life or perfected this about myself, THEN someone would accept me and then I can be loved, get married, and be worthwhile.

• Well that didn’t play it that way for me. And it rarely works that way.
• You see it’s not the other person who validates you, it is yourself. When you become that love that is accepting of your authentic self, compassionate, and consistent, then your entire reality will reflect that. It’s not something you have to perfect about yourself, but a liberation from the programmed thoughts and patterns that are reinforced by the distorted belief that you’re not good enough.

1. You are good enough! You are worthy! RSA helps you connect to that truth in each moment a fearful thought arises. Instead of replaying the story that you’re not good enough, you create space from that story, acknowledge and honor it, then mindfully choose a loving action that is in line with your worth that is already there. It’s the journey within.
2. Practicing daily self-love in this way, helps you strengthen the part of your mind that sounds like a best friend, or family member, or role model that supports you and your value.
3. We gotta change this notion that our worth is found in the validation of another.

• The validation we are seeking is within ourselves and the practice of RSA is a skill we will learn how to cultivate together and thereby healing those limiting beliefs and connecting to the authentic truths of who you are and why you’re valuable already. It’s not something you have to earn. It’s something you need to realize within you.

1. Reauthoring
   1. As we practice RSA, what we’re doing is reauthoring our lives. It takes commitment and determination to no longer replay those stories, or those relationships, that reinforce the limiting notion that you’re not enough.
   2. When you reauthor your life, you get to fully own all of your choices and it’s empowering because when you come to know this, life gets pretty magical.
   3. Now there are some requirements for this…there are some traits that you’ll need to strengthen but what you’ll find in practicing RSA is that you will simultaneously strengthen those traits anyway. It’s like a bonus! What is needed is…
      1. Vulnerability, first and foremost…vulnerability is how you can show up as your authentic, weird, and flawed self, even if you are feeling uncomfortable and awkward about it. Vulnerability is needed so you can take down the mask of your ego and try out how it feels to be truly who you are underneath that mask. It’s necessary for connection and it’s necessary to keep yourself accountable while you reauthor your life.
      2. Determination, listen there are gonna be days that you don’t want to meditate. Or there will be days you’ve already played out a pattern in which you reacted, or reinforced that notion that you’re not good enough. But it’s with determination that you continue to show up for yourself, redirect after replaying those patterns, learning from those detours, and continuing to practice self-love no matter what. Because in those moments when you make a mistake, it’s even more critical to practice self-love. That can be the most difficult part of this but the most important part of this transformation. Let me say that again, this is the most important part of this transformation. You have to learn to love yourself especially in the moments when you want to hate on yourself.
   4. So reauthoring your life is recognizing those patterns that replay that story that you’re defective in some way, and mindfully choosing to act otherwise and switch from reacting to responding. That’s the shift. With the help of practicing RSA, you create new stories, new narratives that you are worthy of love and compassion because here you are doing that already in a familiar moment in which you would have done otherwise.
   5. Now a piece of advice, as I’ve said in a previous episodes about practicing mindfulness…Mindfulness does not eradicate fearful thoughts. Even after reauthoring your life, you will be presented with life challenges that may trigger those old limiting beliefs. But because you practice being mindful daily, you will have the psychological flexibility and strength to recognize and redirect with RSA. So in other words, you’re gonna be REALLY aware of those thoughts. They will be there but they don’t have to control you anymore.
2. RSA step process
   1. So let’s talk about the step by step process. If you haven’t received your printable for this month’s topic, be sure to subscribe to the Mindful Mastery School email list for future content (the link is listed in the show notes) but also in these show notes is the link to get your RSA step-by-step flow chart to follow along and post it up somewhere you can see it often as a reminder. I’ll provide the link as we close this episode today.
   2. Now, the first step is to recognize what kind of thought is there…is it a loving thought?, well carry on then! You’re already connected to a loving place in your mind…your higher self. Good job!
   3. If it is a fearful or limiting thought… notice the thought w/o judgment. Don’t identify yourself with it. Notice it for what it is…a fearful thought in reaction to something that says you’re not good enough. Breathe deeply while you notice, acknowledge it without trying to fix it or change it in some way…just notice and acknowledge that it’s there. No need to repress. It’s just there.
   4. Next step is to ask yourself “did you say something unloving to yourself because of that thought maybe outloud or in your mind? Did you say something unloving to other people or maybe about yourself to other people? If not, continue to breathe and mindfully let the thought pass like a cloud in the sky as it needs to. It might not go away immediately, and that’s perfectly normal! Some emotions and thoughts linger longer than others, but remember everything is temporary and it will pass.
   5. If you did end up verbalizing an unloving thought, don’t worry, this happens too. Remind yourself that you are reauthoring and this is just a moment to do just that. So, just ground to the present moment and breathe deeply. Notice how this effects your body. Then the most important step is to forgive yourself! Remember your higher self or your loving friend would forgive you, so you need to forgive yourself too. You are worthy of your own forgiveness because you’re human like the rest of us. We say dumb shit to ourselves sometimes guys. I do it. It’s impulsive and it’s a reflection of the programming we’re trying to liberate ourselves from.
   6. After you’ve forgiven yourself maybe saying “I forgive myself for being human”,