It’s Joan’s birthday (she’s thrilled), Erin’s judgment day (she’s not), and we open with the sentencing of the mushroom murderer — let’s just say someone’s casserole didn’t go down well.

Then it’s on to Beckxit: starring David, Victoria, and their daughter-in-law Nicola Peltz, who’s somehow turning family group chats into international news.

We also dive into the High School Catfish (spoiler: absolutely unhinged), and reflect on Meghan’s tragic Season Two — less “media mogul,” more “Pinterest podcast with WiFi issues.”

Finally, we pit Montecito against Ballarat and Rosebud in the ultimate showdown: where would you rather live, dodge paparazzi, and cry on Oprah’s couch?

New episode out now. Bring snacks (not mushrooms)

X nads and moanie joannie

#MushroomMurderer

#Beckxit

#NicolaPeltz

#Brooklynbeckham

#withlovemeghan

#VictoriaBeckham

#HighSchoolCatfish

#MeghanMarkle

#Megxit

#Montecito

#Ballarat