Digest

Carrie Kimpakis and Kim Anderson, both experienced mothers, delve into the unique challenges and rewards of parenting young adults who have left the nest. They highlight the importance of setting clear boundaries and expectations, especially when financially supporting their children's education. Kim emphasizes the need for contracts outlining academic performance requirements and financial consequences for failing to meet them. They also stress the significance of teaching financial responsibility and life skills, such as laundry and time management, to prepare young adults for independence. Carrie and Kim discuss the shift in parental roles from "cop" to "coach" to "consultant," emphasizing the importance of being a safe and supportive presence for their children. They offer practical advice on how to be a helpful consultant, even when children aren't seeking advice, through open communication, reflective listening, and encouraging resilience. The conversation also touches on the importance of giving young adults space to grow and make their own mistakes. Carrie shares her personal experience with her son, Luke, and the challenges of letting go and allowing him to navigate his own path. Both Carrie and Kim emphasize the importance of having a life beyond their children, pursuing personal passions and interests, and fostering a strong marriage. They believe that this not only benefits the parents but also sets a positive example for their children. The episode concludes with a discussion about the use of GPS tracking apps, acknowledging the safety benefits but also the potential for overstepping boundaries and hindering growth. They encourage parents to use these tools with moderation and focus on building a healthy and supportive relationship with their children.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction

This Chapter introduces the topic of parenting young adults who have left the nest and introduces the guests, Carrie Kimpakis and Kim Anderson, both experienced mothers who share their insights and experiences.

00:02:10

Navigating the Transition

This Chapter focuses on the challenges and adjustments parents face as their children transition into young adulthood and leave the nest. Kim, a Nashville counselor, shares her experience with her own children and offers advice on setting boundaries, expectations, and financial responsibilities.

00:10:35

The Role of the Parent

This Chapter explores the evolving role of parents as their children mature and leave home. Carrie and Kim discuss the shift from "cop" to "coach" to "consultant" and provide practical tips on how to be a supportive and helpful presence in their children's lives.

00:15:19

Giving Space for Growth

This Chapter emphasizes the importance of giving young adults space to grow and learn from their experiences. Carrie shares her personal journey with her son, Luke, and the challenges of letting go and allowing him to navigate his own path. They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, providing guidance, and allowing for natural consequences.

Keywords

Q&A

• What are some key boundaries and expectations to set for young adults leaving the nest, especially when financially supporting their education?

  Kim recommends creating a contract with your child outlining academic performance requirements and financial consequences for failing to meet them. For example, you could agree to pay for their education as long as they maintain a certain GPA, and if they fall below that GPA, they would be responsible for their own tuition.

• How can parents shift their role from "cop" to "coach" to "consultant" as their children mature?

  Carrie and Kim suggest that as children grow, parents should transition from being strict enforcers of rules to supportive guides and advisors. This involves offering guidance and support without controlling their decisions, allowing them to learn from their experiences.

• What are some practical ways to be a helpful consultant to your young adult child, even when they aren't seeking advice?

  Carrie and Kim suggest asking open-ended questions that encourage reflection and problem-solving, such as "How will you handle that?" or "Looking back, how would you do that differently?" They also recommend offering support and prayers, and reflecting back what they're saying to show that you're listening and understanding.

• Why is it important to give young adults space to grow and make their own mistakes?

  Carrie and Kim emphasize that allowing young adults to navigate their own challenges and learn from their mistakes is crucial for their development. They believe that natural consequences, such as facing the consequences of not doing laundry or managing their time effectively, can be valuable learning experiences.

• How can parents find joy in their own lives after their children leave home?

  Carrie and Kim encourage parents to pursue their own passions and interests, cultivate strong relationships with their spouses or partners, and engage in activities that bring them joy. They believe that this not only benefits the parents but also sets a positive example for their children.

• What are some thoughts on the use of GPS tracking apps for young adults?

  Carrie and Kim acknowledge the safety benefits of GPS tracking apps but also recognize the potential for overstepping boundaries and hindering growth. They encourage parents to use these tools with moderation and focus on building a healthy and supportive relationship with their children.

• What advice would you give to parents who are struggling with the transition of their children leaving home?

  Carrie and Kim encourage parents to invest in their own well-being, find their purpose, and seek support from therapists or coaches. They also suggest finding ways to use their parenting skills and experience to mentor others, such as leading a Bible study or volunteering in their community.

Show Notes