Apparently, self-care is dead — or at least it’s been taken hostage by Instagram influencers and the “modern” wellness industry.

Yeah, back in the day, self-care meant taking a nap, maybe soaking in the tub, or ignoring your kids for a respectable 20 minutes.

Now? It’s goat yoga, $18 smoothies, and paying a stranger to hit a gong while you lie on the floor pretending your soul is healing.

Welcome to America — where your mental health comes with a receipt.

Today on Outspoken, we’re diving headfirst into the ridiculous, overpriced, and downright bizarre world of modern self-care…

…and trust us, it’s going to smell faintly of lavender and desperation.

So buckle up, because we’re about to peel back the cucumber slices and see what’s really underneath this so-called self-care movement — and spoiler alert… it ain’t pretty.

#joeandjayoutspoken #outspoken #selfcare #goatyoga #wellness