As doulas, when it comes to communication, what we say and how it’s heard are not always the same.

Words shape how clients feel, respond, and make decisions. Asking questions that begin with "why" can unintentionally sound like judgment, even when your intent is neutral or supportive. Doulas often believe that it’s our job to make sure clients are making informed choices. In truth, our responsibility is to our clients, not for them.

It is not our role or responsibility to decide what a client wants or needs to know. But doulas often offer information without asking what the client wants to know or inquiring in a non-judgmental way how they came to a decision, especially surrounding topics like induction or elective cesareans.

This episode unpacks the critical difference between what we mean and how our words are interpreted. If you want to strengthen your communication, reduce misunderstandings, and support clients with more clarity and compassion.