Hello. This week on the Max, Mike; Movies series “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” we’re going to be discussing “Monsters.” What truly is a monster? It can be a mania, a mash, or even a truck. And yes, it can also be a giant, extra-natural being that can, simply due to its basic nature, cause a certain amount of distress to property and people. Yes, a “monster” can be alarming, yes they can seem different, alien, non-human . . . but ask yourself this: isn’t there a monster inside each of us? Don’t we all have our inner monster? Who among us hasn’t looked in the mirror in the morning and seen a post-human hell-spawn, with wells of dark fire where our eyes should be and fangs dripping pustulant venom? I know I have. Who really, honestly, hasn’t spread their leathery, be-clawed wings and indulged their perfectly natural urge to rain blazing death down on the shrieking city dwellers below us? I know I have. And yet we insist on reviling these so-called “monsters,” shunning them, disparaging them to others, firing anti-tank missiles at me, I mean, at them. People, this needs to stop. We need to enter into a frank and open dialogue with these alleged “monsters.” We need to stop firing newly-developed hyperweapons at us, I mean them. Think about it, won’t you? I’ll take the first step: I’m off to engage in an honest and meaningful exchange of thoughts, concepts, and concentrated plasma breath with the city of Cleveland. Hopefully we’ll all grow from this.

Poll question: what movie franchise do you think has had enough already and should be quietly laid to rest? Leave a comment or a voicemail on our “A Monster! Everybody Panic!” hotline at 617-398-7266.

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