The journey to perimenopausal enlightenment began when I had a conversation about hair loss with my cousin, Dr. Karen Neubauer, a dermatologist from Kansas who has specialized in hair treatments among all the other things in life that go wrong with our dermis. (See Substack entry if curious.) Although we were talking about women’s hair loss and aging, she mentioned the 20+ year-old study about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) that has since been debunked and turned the hormone world on its head. Subsequently, my cousin turned me on to Dr. Mary Clare Haver and podcast princess, Mel Robbins. I had an “A-ha” moment about all of this shit and if you know me, once I know something, I just can’t un-know it and am driven to do something about it. And so began my quest to understand this mysterious and unbearable territory called peri, post and straight up menopause. It’s a world in which women live 30% of their lives (if they are lucky enough to hang on that long) and one that has been underfunded and in turn, underresearched and thus, overly ignored. Surprised? Neither was I. Especially since the Ozempic babies started popping out. I mean, they didn’t test this shit on women who were taking birth control before they started giving it out like candy on Halloween??

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The second I finished listening to their podcast I called my OBGYN and asked to have a consult about getting on hormone replacement therapy. I was determined to find some relief from the night sweats, the oh-so-extra migraines I’d been experiencing in the last year, the feeeeeeeeelings, the struggle with weight management and the lack of sleep. I had some mad expectations that I just knew were going to be met because it seemed that there was one simple solution: hormone replacement therapy. (Cue the gates of heaven opening up and a choir filled with 1000 Whitney Houston’s singing an anthemic “Ahhhhhhhh”).

I cried AT my doctor. Have you heard of hate-f*cking? Well, I was hate-crying.

The first question she asked me was, “Do you get auras with your migraines?” I said, “yes.” And then she said, “Then you are not a candidate for HRT. Women with migraines accompanied by auras run a higher risk of stroke.” The 1000 Whitney’s immediately stopped singing in my head and I began to cry. I cried at my doctor. Have you heard of hate-fucking? Well, I was hate-crying.

So, now I’m relegated to finding homeopathic solutions and figuring out how to suffer less through the last 30% of my life. I began reaching out to women and I know, and hopefully in the future women I don’t know, who are experts in their fields of dealing with the symptoms of aging in women.

Men, if you think this doesn’t pertain to you, you are wrong. Unless you have zero contact with any women in your entire life. And even if that is the case, some woman gave birth to you and has had to suffer through this. The least you could do to repay her kindness is listen to my podcast and forward it to someone you think might glean some knowledge or want to laugh through her pain.

Enter my friend Erin Boardman Wathen. She is a Holistic Weight Loss & Certified Life Coach, Food Addiction Counselor and author of “Why Can’t I Stick To My Diet”. When I called her about doing a podcast exploring the sides of aging and weight gain and what we can do to combat it other than intermittent fasting, she unveiled a wealth of knowledge and a glimmer of hope. If you don’t have time to listen to our banter and stories about growing up in the 80’s and how shame rolled itself into our psyche around all things body image, here are some takeaways that I just had to highlight:

ON FOOD AND FITNESS OVER 40:

* “You need to eat half as much and work out twice as much to look half as good.”

- E. Wathen

* Eat more protein.

* Do more strength training to combat osteoporosis.

* With regard to making healthy choices: “Would you cheat on your boyfriend? Then why are you cheating on yourself?” - E. Wathen

* Get to the why’s about habits. It’s an inside job. If you can figure out why you are eating this or that or not taking that walk or yoga class, then you can get to the bottom of the behavior and make the lasting change you are looking for.

* Stop playing the shame game when it comes to what you do to, and put in, your body. Every moment is an opportunity for a different choice.

Those are some biggies, but the real gems are in the laughter and banter between two women who lived in a duplex home in Greenwich, CT for two years while we were having babies and trying to become trophy wives and failing miserably…at the trophy wife part. I think our kids turned out pretty damn good.

In Laughter,

LStL

Disclaimer: This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I, Lisa St. Lou, am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.

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