DiscoverDear SugarsEpisodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me
Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Update: 2018-12-19
Share

Description

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016,
Comments 
loading
In Channel
Episodes We Love: The Writers Resist, Part 1
On November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" The Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally published on January 20th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: The Writers Resist, Part 1

2019-02-1500:38:042

Episodes We Love: Love In Doubt
How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: Love In Doubt

2019-02-0800:42:482

Episodes We Love: The Dark Side Of Porn
The Sugars continue their series on porn with a letter from a woman whose fiancé is "addicted" to porn. This episode was originally released on December 16th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: The Dark Side Of Porn

2019-02-0100:39:312

Dear Sugars Presents: Endless Thread
From our partners at WBUR, Endless Thread is a podcast featuring amazing stories found on Reddit. In this story, they talk to a happily married couple who has recently decided to experiment with consensual non-monogamy.

Dear Sugars Presents: Endless Thread

2019-01-2800:31:571

Episodes We Love: Is Porn Wrong?
Pornography is more abundant and accessible than ever before. So it probably isn't surprising that it appears to be having a greater impact on romantic relationships. Part one of a two-part series focuses on some basic questions about porn -- is it wrong to use it? Why do people turn to porn? Is there such a thing as "healthy" porn use in a relationship? This episode was originally published on December 1st, 2016.

Episodes We Love: Is Porn Wrong?

2019-01-2500:36:266

Episodes We Love: What About The Stepchildren?
When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This week, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. This episode was originally released November 17th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: What About The Stepchildren?

2019-01-1800:40:332

Episodes We Love: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'
Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

2019-01-1100:32:215

Episodes We Love: Friendships, Part 2
The Sugars have another conversation on friendship, this time with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally released November 4th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: Friendships, Part 2

2019-01-0700:32:063

Rapid Fire: A Wealthy Sister, An Impatient Girlfriend, An Unshakable Love
The Sugars are back for another batch of rapid-fire questions and answers. In this round, the Sugars take on six questions, ranging from a letter writer who is jealous of her sister's wealth, to a young woman who is growing impatient for a proposal from her longtime boyfriend, to a person wondering if people ever really change.

Rapid Fire: A Wealthy Sister, An Impatient Girlfriend, An Unshakable Love

2019-01-0300:39:27

Episodes We Love: Rapid Fire Letters
In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief. This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: Rapid Fire Letters

2018-12-1900:33:131

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2
"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2

2018-12-1900:25:341

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 1
There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. This episode was originally released July 15th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 1

2018-12-1900:35:291

Episodes We Love: Friendship, Part 1
Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics. This episode was originally released October 28th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: Friendship, Part 1

2018-12-1900:41:354

Episodes We Love: May-December Romances
Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways. The Sugars discuss those so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me, which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior. This episode was originally released October 20th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: May-December Romances

2018-12-1900:31:121

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me
Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016,

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

2018-12-1900:31:05

Episodes We Love: Make The Call
The Sugars bring you another "rapid fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call — one way or the other — on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance. This episode was originally released September 30th, 2016,

Episodes We Love: Make The Call

2018-12-1900:39:551

Episodes We Love: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?
The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide. This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.

Episodes We Love: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

2018-12-1900:27:071

Episodes We Love: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance
The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man.

Episodes We Love: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

2018-12-1900:38:41

Dear Sugars Presents: Last Seen
From our partners at WBUR, a new podcast that looks into the greatest unsolved art heist in history: the theft of half a billion dollars worth of art from the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum in Boston.

Dear Sugars Presents: Last Seen

2018-12-1900:36:22

Introducing Safe for Work
Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Office MVPs and corporate veterans Liz Dolan (ex-CMO, Nike, NatGeo, Oprah Winfrey Network) and Rico Gagliano (audio host, producer, print reporter and author) will help you make the big decisions, sort through the small stuff, and get more fulfillment from your work life.

Introducing Safe for Work

2018-12-1900:03:32

Episodes We Love: The Price Of Our Dreams
The Sugars, along with fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit. This episode was originally released on August 5th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: The Price Of Our Dreams

2018-12-0800:35:05

Episodes We Love: Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?
The Sugars discuss a letter from a survivor of sexual assault who has just been told by her long-time partner that he raped someone when he was in high school. The writer wonders how she, as a survivor and self-proclaimed feminist, can justify loving a rapist.

Episodes We Love: Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?

2018-09-1500:30:09

The Long Goodbye
After four years of ministering to the lost, lonely and heartsick, the Sugars say farewell on this final episode of the podcast. We take a look back at some of our most powerful advice, hear from former guests, and talk to listeners about how the show has affected their lives.

The Long Goodbye

2018-09-0101:14:21

Moving On, Part 2 — With Dr. Harriet Lerner
In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion.

Moving On, Part 2 — With Dr. Harriet Lerner

2018-08-2500:43:47

Talking About Privilege — With Catrice M. Jackson
Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice.

Talking About Privilege — With Catrice M. Jackson

2018-08-1100:52:21

Moving On, Part 1 — With Claire Bidwell Smith
As our final season draws to a close, the Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of our two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones.

Moving On, Part 1 — With Claire Bidwell Smith

2018-08-0800:47:08

Emotional Abuse — With Reema Zaman
He removed her makeup when he thought she was wearing too much. He refused to put her name on the leases for their car and their house. He told her that she had a green card only because he chose to marry her. Reema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. She helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners.

Emotional Abuse — With Reema Zaman

2018-08-0400:48:29

Dear Sugars Live: The Great Reckoning
Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning, and to answer letters dealing with transgressions of love, friendship, the self, and so much more.

Dear Sugars Live: The Great Reckoning

2018-07-2800:52:08

Rapid Fire: Love & Money
When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode.

Rapid Fire: Love & Money

2018-07-2100:44:40

Young & Isolated — With Shirley Manson
Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One girl is home-schooled and suffers from social anxiety. Another feels disconnected from her best friend, who has suddenly become popular at school. Both letter writers wonder if they’ll ever feel comfortable in their own skin. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider.

Young & Isolated — With Shirley Manson

2018-07-1400:44:54

Who's Your Daddy? — With Steve Lickteig
When Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries.

Who's Your Daddy? — With Steve Lickteig

2018-06-1600:40:58

Trust Your Body — With Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant
“It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope.

Trust Your Body — With Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant

2018-06-0900:42:441

Rapid Fire: There's Just One Thing
In this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers.

Rapid Fire: There's Just One Thing

2018-05-2600:40:57

Sex & Aging — With Dr. Pepper Schwartz
The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive?

Sex & Aging — With Dr. Pepper Schwartz

2018-05-1900:36:58

Rage Is A Red Lesson
Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer Online,” the Sugars enlist her help to answer Tantrum Daughter’s letter. Ms. Jerkins frequently taps her own anger in her essays on police brutality. The Sugars and Ms. Jerkins discuss the connection between trauma and rage, and offer ...

Rage Is A Red Lesson

2018-05-1200:41:06

Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do
Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. Women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus, along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral ...

Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do

2018-05-0500:44:323

The Stepchild's Dilemma — With Theo Pauline Nestor
Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry?

The Stepchild's Dilemma — With Theo Pauline Nestor

2018-04-2800:46:03

I'm In Love With My Abuser — With Esta Soler
For the first time on the podcast, the Sugars answer a voice mail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you?

I'm In Love With My Abuser — With Esta Soler

2018-04-2100:26:48

Buyer's Remorse — With Buzz Bissinger
Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, but when he published his confessional in GQ magazine he was labeled an “obsessive,” a “fancy man,” and a “shopaholic.” Only when he was admitted into rehab did many people understand that he was struggling with a debilitating behavioral addiction. Mr. Bissinger joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’...

Buyer's Remorse — With Buzz Bissinger

2018-04-1400:24:19

Dear Sugars Live: A Night Of Bad Stories
Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capacity for change and transformation.”

Dear Sugars Live: A Night Of Bad Stories

2018-04-0700:41:571

Rapid Fire: Lovers & Friends
In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on jealousy -- when is it justified, and how can it be confronted or neutralized?

Rapid Fire: Lovers & Friends

2018-03-3100:43:08

Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray
In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm.

Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

2018-03-2400:41:201

Consent, Part 2: Stuck In The Gray
In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars dive deeper into encounters that are neither clearly consensual nor non-consensual.

Consent, Part 2: Stuck In The Gray

2018-03-1700:33:34

Consent Part 1: Into The Gray — With Jaclyn Friedman
In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country are re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent.

Consent Part 1: Into The Gray — With Jaclyn Friedman

2018-03-1000:39:53

Family By Proxy — With Jessie Glenn
When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members.

Family By Proxy — With Jessie Glenn

2018-02-1000:34:26

Updates Part 2: Step Into Your Spotlight
In part two of our updates series, we find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago.

Updates Part 2: Step Into Your Spotlight

2018-02-0400:37:13

Updates Part 1: Change Is A Work In Progress
In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago.

Updates Part 1: Change Is A Work In Progress

2018-01-2700:35:50

Dark Fantasies Part 2 — With Dr. Ian Kerner
In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy.

Dark Fantasies Part 2 — With Dr. Ian Kerner

2018-01-2000:29:32

Dark Fantasies, Part 1 — With Dr. Ian Kerner
Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on.

Dark Fantasies, Part 1 — With Dr. Ian Kerner

2018-01-1300:32:55

Cutting The Financial Cord — With Dr. Kate Gale
At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale.

Cutting The Financial Cord — With Dr. Kate Gale

2017-12-2300:30:54

Google Play
Download from Google Play
Castbox
Download from App Store
usUnited States
00:00
00:00
1.0x

0.5x

1.0x

1.5x

2.0x

3.0x

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

wbur and the new york times