What if the life that proves you’re winning is the same life that’s quietly draining the colour from your home, your body, and your heart? We invited our friend of 20 years, Andrew Boniface—dad to twin girls and former helicopter pilot—to share how the grind he once wore with pride became an addiction to stress that cost him his marriage and nearly his sense of self. His story isn’t polished; it’s honest. And in that honesty sits a map for any man who suspects constant urgency has replaced real connection.

Andrew takes us from the cockpit to the lounge room, showing how hustle culture rewires the nervous system, shrinks emotional range, and turns relationships into background noise. He explains the shift from fight or flight into rest and digest, and why slowing down is leadership, not laziness. We dig into men’s work, somatic practices, and the discipline of feeling what’s uncomfortable so joy can return. Along the way, we tackle people pleasing and the “covert contracts” that sabotage trust, replacing them with a simple, brave practice: know your needs and say them out loud.

We also walk through the realities of co‑parenting after separation, dating with kids in the mix, and setting timelines and expectations with care. Andrew shares how skills from high‑risk aviation—communication, teamwork, leadership—translate at home when guided by presence and heart. He’s now building programs for fathers and male‑dominated workplaces, and hosting dad retreats on the Sunshine Coast to lift men’s emotional fitness and family leadership.

If you’ve ever felt successful and strangely empty, this conversation offers language, tools, and hope. Listen to reframe performance around joy and connection, and to hear how a man can become the steady, loving presence his family craves. If it lands, subscribe, share with a mate, and leave a review—then tell us: what’s one place you’ll slow down this week?

Contact Andrew here: https://www.facebook.com/andrew.boniface.50

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