DiscoverThe New Old TestamentGenesis 24-25: Virgin Territory
Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory

Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory

Update: 2018-05-17
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What happens when Abraham tries to find a wife for his son? A hungover getaway with a kidnapped bride, a zombie assault on a funeral and Quasimodo falls in love with Simba's daughter.
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Genesis 34-35: Gendercide
What happens when Dinah ventures into the city of Shechem? Family politics get messy, an ethnic cleansing takes place, and someone turns into an ogre.

Genesis 34-35: Gendercide

2018-06-2200:39:46

GENESIS 32-33: Bro-Down at High Noon II – Big Trouble in Little Gilead
Latest episode of The New Old Testament

GENESIS 32-33: Bro-Down at High Noon II – Big Trouble in Little Gilead

2018-06-1400:28:28

Genesis 30-31: Un-Sympathetic Magic
What happens when Jake prepares to leave for home after twenty years abroad? A deal is sealed with blood, selective breeding is discussed at length, and Little Red Riding Hood gets a rewrite.

Genesis 30-31: Un-Sympathetic Magic

2018-06-0800:28:20

Genesis 29-30: Brother-In-Law, Sister-In-Bed
What happens when Jake decides to marry the daughter of his mother's brother? A woman goes bald, the screaming mandrakes from Harry Potter 2 turn out to be an aphrodisiac, and, naturally, there is an incestuous sex-a-thon.

Genesis 29-30: Brother-In-Law, Sister-In-Bed

2018-06-0100:34:46

Genesis 28: Stairway to 'Heaven'
What happens when Jake leaves home to marry his cousin? A bloody wedding night, a party at God's house and a cannabis-fuelled, mind-shredding hallucination.

Genesis 28: Stairway to 'Heaven'

2018-05-2500:29:44

Genesis Special Episode: Ishmael, the Zombie Hunter
What happens when Esau tracks down his uncle, seeking revenge against the brothers who betrayed them? A stand-up comedian bombs, Van Helsing gets back in the game and Esau is reunited with his skin.

Genesis Special Episode: Ishmael, the Zombie Hunter

2018-05-1800:32:31

Genesis 27: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Skinless
What happens when Isaac plans to give Esau his blessing? A paedophile is exposed, an unlikely ally is sought out and someone makes the very first skin suit.

Genesis 27: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Skinless

2018-05-1700:16:37

Genesis 26: Whole Lotta Lot
What happens when famine strikes Isaac and his family? A wife gets passed off as a sister (again), God tries to talk down a suicide jumper, and a former king gets drunk and tries to kill someone.

Genesis 26: Whole Lotta Lot

2018-05-1700:19:06

Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory
What happens when Abraham tries to find a wife for his son? A hungover getaway with a kidnapped bride, a zombie assault on a funeral and Quasimodo falls in love with Simba's daughter.

Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory

2018-05-1700:29:00

Genesis 22-23: Kill the Kid!
What happens when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son? A cave burial, a brawl in a biker bar and a zombie plague is unleashed on the Middle East.

Genesis 22-23: Kill the Kid!

2018-05-1600:23:10

Genesis 20-21: Fat Abe the Philistine
What happens when Abraham uses his wife as a bargaining chip...again? Devious plans are hatched, an old rival shows up to settle a score, and a certain fetus gets handsy.

Genesis 20-21: Fat Abe the Philistine

2018-05-1200:25:11

Genesis 19: Burn 'Em All!
What happens when God decides to nuke Sodom and Gomorrah? Angry mobs, incest and, of course, giant eagles.

Genesis 19: Burn 'Em All!

2018-05-1200:24:48

Genesis 14-18: King of the Sodomites
What happens when Lot abandons Abraham to go live in Sodom?Orgies, mass circumcisions and multiple bloodbaths.

Genesis 14-18: King of the Sodomites

2018-05-1100:24:17

Genesis 10-13: Abe Breaks Bad
What happens when God tells Abraham he's going to be the father of a great nation? The world's first skyscraper gets abandoned, people start speaking in tongues and Walter White turns into Heisenberg.

Genesis 10-13: Abe Breaks Bad

2018-05-1100:20:54

Genesis 6-9: God Kills Everyone (Except Noah)
What happens when horny angels come down to earth and create a race of giant angel-human hybrids? Nick Nolte imparts the secrets of life, Noah builds an ark and someone gets a little too friendly with the animals.

Genesis 6-9: God Kills Everyone (Except Noah)

2018-05-1100:28:51

Genesis 5: Adam's F***ed Up Family Tree
What happens when Adam and Eve populate the world through inbreeding? Pretty much what you’d expect – bestiality, cold-blooded murder and a lot of confusingly-similar names.

Genesis 5: Adam's F***ed Up Family Tree

2018-05-1100:15:58

Genesis 4: Bro-Down At High Noon
What happens when God chooses Abel's sacrifice over Cain's? Odds are, you're familiar with the story. Or are you? Take a look at an alternate Bible history where Cain does worse than just kill his brother, and God makes a deal with the devil.

Genesis 4: Bro-Down At High Noon

2018-05-1100:15:30

Genesis 1-3: Snake Party
What happens when God has a few beers and decides to create the earth? At first, nothing. Everything's going pretty well. But when God decides to create people, that's when things start to unravel.

Genesis 1-3: Snake Party

2018-05-1100:23:55

Genesis 10-13: Abe Breaks Bad
What happens when God tells Abraham he's going to be the father of a great nation? The world's first skyscraper gets abandoned, people start speaking in tongues and Walter White turns into Heisenberg.

Genesis 10-13: Abe Breaks Bad

2018-05-1100:20:53

Genesis 6-9: God Kills Everyone (Except Noah)
What happens when horny angels come down to earth and create a race of giant angel-human hybrids? Nick Nolte imparts the secrets of life, Noah builds an ark and someone gets a little too friendly with the animals.

Genesis 6-9: God Kills Everyone (Except Noah)

2018-05-1100:28:51

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Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory

Genesis 24-25: Virgin Territory