Luke on Trump hosting college football champions Clemson Tigers:

“You get this kind of stuff at a little league football game!  Where the team mom goes out and brings Hot Pockets, French Fries, Pizza, potato chips…”

Luke on Rihanna suing her father for copyright infringement:

“…the last time I checked Rhianna didn’t have her daddy, her daddy had her.”  He continues, “The daddy made love to the momma and then the momma had Rhianna, and then when Rhianna came out…the daddy signed the paperwork and the paperwork said this is her last name…”

Luke on Kyler Murray being a two sport player like Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson:

"Kyler needs to be in the film room all week, all day, and all night. Kyler can’t even have a girlfriend when you play quarterback in the NFL – especially your first three years – so there is no way Kyler could be a Deion Sanders [or] a Bo Jackson…”  

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