🎙️ Group Chat Podcast – Picks & Parlays: Week 3 Edition 🎙️

We’re back with another week of reckless gambling advice, questionable logic, and a parlay that’s guaranteed to either make you rich or force you to sell your plasma. Spoiler: probably the second one.

👀 College Recap:

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  Damien trusted Clemson… Clemson returned the favor by sucking.

  
  


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  Tommy picked Texas… they forgot the game was two halves long.

  
  


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  Nick and Casey actually hit their bets (which officially makes them the podcast’s finance bros).

  
  


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  Nick’s Wheel? Still spinning like a broke slot machine. 1-9, baby!

  
  

🏈 NFL Recap:

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  Tommy cashed on Baker Mayfield looking like an MVP for 90 minutes.

  
  


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  Damien’s Commanders somehow covered (shoutout Daniel Jones for being Daniel Jones).

  
  


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  Nick’s “over” pick had all the offensive excitement of a middle school punt fest.

  
  


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  Casey’s Steelers lost by half a point. Nothing screams degeneracy quite like that.

  
  

🔥 This Week’s College Parlay (a.k.a. how to light money on fire responsibly):

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  Ducks & Wildcats OVER 48.5

  
  


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  Georgia -4.5 (because Kirby Smart owns Tennessee like a rent house)

  
  


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  LSU vs. Florida UNDER everything (until it hits 70-60, of course)

  
  


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  Ole Miss/Arkansas UNDER 62.5

  
  


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  And Tulane covering vs. Duke… because revenge, white uniforms, and fake quarterbacks.

  
  

💰 NFL Parlay of Doom:

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  Bills -6.5 (Josh Allen vs. “Not Lamar Jackson” Fields)

  
  


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  Dak over 1.5 TDs

  
  


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  Cowboys to cover (bullying the Giants is tradition now)

  
  


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  Joe Burrow over 6.5 rushing yards (aka “run for your life insurance”)

  
  


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  49ers -3 AND the under (pray for a 13-10 field goal-a-thon).

  
  

📊 Odds? 26-to-1. Reality? You’ll be broke by 2:15 pm.

✨ Plus:

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  The Wizard is back from his 4-1 week, still somehow 4-6 overall.

  
  


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  Turtle went 4-1, proving Bryce Boudreaux doesn’t know ball.

  
  


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  Nick’s Wheel? Still a war crime.

  
  


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  Tommy? A cuck with a 2-3 record and a heart full of bad picks.

  
  

Come for the football talk, stay for the tribal free lunch discourse, San Francisco hate rants, and Lafourche Parish degeneracy.