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Bonjour. Welcome back to the High Styled Life. My name is Menellia. And today I wanna talk to you about something a little bit outside of the norm of what I'm used to talking about on this blog audio posts or even the blog posts.. So if you absolutely brand new here, my ultimate goal and purpose is to help you break free from the scarcity and the deep emotional trauma that you've been holding onto, that you keep perpetuating so that you can let go of that once and for all; and allow yourself to create a life full of love, abundance, pleasure, vibrant energy and all that stuff. So if you're brand new, welcome welcome to the haven. I am absolutely thrilled that you are here. Make sure you stay til the end because I do have a very special gift for you at the end so you want to make sure that you stay till the end of this audio blog post.

Today, I want to talk to you about relationships and self-worth. Now for the last two years as a lifestyle coach, my main focus has remained around, mindset blocks and emotional blocks as well as, goal setting and the law of attraction. But as time has progressed, especially over the last six months of my life, I realized something that I really had to take a stand for and I had to allow myself to let go of in order for me to elevate my life, myself, my business, my success, et cetera. And this is something that a lot of women experience a lot of the time. And we're afraid to talk about it because we love being seen as, you know, we don't like being vulnerable. When I started my business, the one thing that really got me connected to my community was being vulnerable.

And I wrote a 42 page memoir, which I will be upgrading to send to you if you're on my list. I wrote a 42 page memoir about how I got to where, um, in my business and in my life for that matter, how I overcome a lot of traumas and, and disappointments and emotional pains; and all those different things that really helped me, you know, elevate to the next step. And today I want to take this a bit deeper because this is something that has hit home quite a few times for me in the last six months, and I wanted to represent that in this, you know, this entire framework of what I'm teaching women. I'm someone who's absolutely, I love being vulnerable. And there are times when we're ashamed as women to share our rawness to share our openness because we afraid of being judged.

Once again, we want to be perfect. We do not like having the spotlight on us in the negative way. And it's part of the process of growing and it releasing and creating that's sexy, vibrant being and lifestyle and this empowered femme, that woman that you deeply want to become. So let's talk a little bit about self-worth and the relationships that you're holding onto. And I want to share with you a few signs that there's a correlation, a deep correlation with what you're allowing and how you're feeling in terms of your self-worth; as a woman and the relationships that you are keeping.In relationships as women, many of us tend to always be the over giver. If you have ever done an Enneagram test, which is pretty much like a personality test, then you will find that there are different personality traits that will pretty much represent the kind of person that you are or the characteristics that you possess, that really sometimes you may be wondering like, why do I keep doing those things and you're not sure…definitely go ahead and you could check out the Enneagram test to learn more about that. But my enneagram test and even in my brand archetype there are pretty much the same.

So when it comes to my brand archetype,I'm the ruler Royal primary, secondary, I am the alchemist/magician, the person who's always helping, persons, given, allowing and the person who always has that structure and control. Okay. In the Enneagram area, my personal personality trait is the type one, the perfectionist. I always have a lot of things a certain way, and I always, tend to plan sometimes, way too much sometimes, but I do, I've learned to create some flexibility in that area; and I'm also the helper. So in my brand personality and my personal personality, they're pretty much the same but in different contexts.

But as always with everything there needs to have a balance, a balance where we can thrive on a level plane and if it goes to the negative, than we tend to represent some very ugly sides of ourselves when things don't go our way according to, you know, what our enneagrams or archetypes represent. And then this is one of the things that I would be talking to you a bit more about the gift that I'm going to give you because they do mention that in there and how you're gonna connect with that deeply. But as I'm going to focus on my helper/alchemy/magician side of things. I am the first of my sisters and I always had this motherly role to clear in my entire life.

I was always the one who was taking care of my sisters ensuring that there were prepared for school, their homework wertr done the uniforms are washed, their hairs were combed, everything. Even in my cousins, I was also one of the eldest, so when my grandparents and my uncles and my aunts were on the farm and taking care of things, it was also my responsibility to take care of my sisters and my cousins. The role was always given to me to be the helper, the ruler to take care of persons and to make sure that they are always thriving. In my career as well, I started off as an admin assistant for very, very large projects funded by the World Bank; and as I transitioned from that area to the other, my current job, my role was still the same thing.

I'm always ensuring that there's structure, there's control there. I'm always helping. I'm always doing those things that’s always allowing persons to thrive, you know? But when it came to my personal life, there was a disconnection. There was this imbalance. So you found that yes, I had structure and control in my physical life, but when it came to the emotional standpoint, this was one areas that I never learned how to master, if that makes sense. Until I realized one day that the pattern that I was going through when it came to relationships that I was keeping, I always tend to over-give. I always tend to put the other person or people for that matter before myself.

I always tend to give so much of myself to other persons and I never give to myself. I always told myself, that's how it's supposed to be because this is what you were taught. This is how you were raised. You were supposed to be the giver. You're supposed to be the helper. You're supposed to give so much of yourself with the expectation that at some point in time, someday it's going to