How Sneaky Covert Narcissists Play on Your Empathy
Do you have a feeling that what's going on in your relationship is less than honest, and yet, you feel strangely like you're not doing enough?
You may well be with a covert narcissist!
Even for me, working with couples all over the world, it takes longer to identify covert narcissism in a person, and in a relationship, than with other demonstrations of narcissism.
Why? Because it is sneaky, under-handed, passive, and plays on your heart strings more than overt or malignant narcissism. It takes longer to be sure that's what's playing out. And, when I'm working with a couple, I want to be sure...and, so do you, I know.
Covert narcissists play the victim, misunderstood and under-valued in their own minds. It's all a manipulation, but that's what they want to believe. They feel as entitled as overt narcissists, but, they don't express it in the same ways.
- Are you with someone who is always the victim?
- Does s/he tell you that they never are valued, or seen for who they really are?
- Does that person try to keep you feeling sorry for them?
- Do you feel like you are the caretaker of their self-esteem and self-confidence?
These can be very clear signs of covert narcissism, especially when they are all present. Of course, there are many more signs, and I've put as many in today's episode as I could in the time available. You'll be able to get a good sense if you're with a covert narcissist....finally. And, it will be a big relief, I'm guessing!
Listen in, and see if what's keeping you feeling like you're supposed to be the cheerleader for a permanent underdog is really covert narcissism.
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HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
- What covert narcissists do
- How covert narcissism is easy to miss
- Why covert narcissism is hard to identify
- How covert narcissism shows up in your daily relationship
- Why covert narcissists make you second-guess yourself and err on the side of empathy
- Why covert narcissists are particularly crazy-making, yet make you stay longer
Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.
Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my
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Make positive changes NOW.
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
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