This episode is for all the recovering people-pleasers out there. If you feel like it’s hard to say “no” in an unfair situation, I’m going to give you a moral framework that lets you to speak your mind and simultaneously feel like the hero in the story of your life… at the same time!

• We start by recognizing the false morality instilled during childhood that suggests being agreeable equates to being a good person.


• We should prioritize authentic, truthful communication over merely saying “yes” to please others, because this shift is essential for personal growth and emotional well-being.


• The ‘fawning’ response is a common trauma reaction that leads you to please others at the expense of their own feelings and beliefs.


• We encourage you to view yourself as an equal to others, regardless of hierarchical positions, because everyone has a right to voice their thoughts and feelings.


• Self-respect and self-love are crucial for establishing healthy boundaries and asserting your needs guilt-free.


• Neglecting your own morality inevitably leads to feelings of anger and resentment.


• Treating yourself as an equal can influence how others perceive and treat you, promoting a healthier social dynamic.


• Self-love and respect do not diminish others’ happiness; instead, they contribute to a collective increase in well-being, because emotions are positive-sum.


• Asserting yourself and saying “no” when necessary is a civilized and mature response that fosters healthier relationships and personal integrity.

Table of Contents:

00:00 – Intro

01:12 – “You’re only good if you say ‘yes,’ and bad if you say ‘no’”

02:57 – People-pleasing as a trauma response

04:12 – Neglecting your morality will lead to resentment

05:48 – The inequality of people-pleasing

09:38 – Your moral obligation to say ‘no’

14:58 – You can still be a good person even when you’re rocking the boat

16:35 – Our heroes say ‘no’ all of the time

18:17 – We are all living in your world, too

23:29 – Ceasing to people-please doesn’t make you a jerk

29:26 – Put your own oxygen mask on first

30:53 – Why I don’t trust people-pleasers

33:32 – A wolf that does not defend itself is demoralized or sick

34:35 – Outro

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The post How to Stop People-Pleasing (Ep. 21) appeared first on The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis.