DiscoverHow to Be a Better HumanHow to find small delights in an uncontrollable world (w/ Sarah Kay)
How to find small delights in an uncontrollable world (w/ Sarah Kay)

How to find small delights in an uncontrollable world (w/ Sarah Kay)

Update: 2025-12-01
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This podcast features poet Sarah Kay, who discusses her work and philosophy on connection, vulnerability, and finding beauty in difficult times. She shares her poem "Miles from Any Shoreline" and explains how poetry serves as a vehicle for deep connection and communal experience. Kay emphasizes the importance of presence, attention, and actively demonstrating care in relationships. She also touches on the influence of freestyle rap on her stage presence and how humor and inside jokes foster intimacy. The conversation highlights the power of focused impact within communities and the metaphor of "arms open" for embracing vulnerability. Ultimately, Kay advocates for sharing personal delights and passions to foster joy and connection, promoting her book "A Little Daylight Left."

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction and Sponsorships

The podcast opens with a sponsorship message from Northwestern Mutual, emphasizing their financial professionals' client-focused approach. This is followed by an introduction to poet Sarah Kay and the episode's themes of connection and vulnerability.

00:02:10
Sarah Kay's Poetry and Themes

Sarah Kay shares her poem "Miles from Any Shoreline," exploring loneliness and finding beauty in isolation. She discusses how poetry facilitates connection and her background in New York City's poetry slam scene.

00:09:52
The Art of Connection and Presence

Kay delves into the communal power of poetry, how to combat overwhelm through shared experiences, and the active effort required to demonstrate care and presence with others. The influence of freestyle rap on stage presence is also discussed.

00:26:52
Humor, Community, and Impact

The conversation explores humor and inside jokes as forms of connection, followed by an ad break featuring multiple sponsors. The discussion then shifts to the importance of community and impact, referencing poet Hanif Abdurraqib.

00:35:18
Vulnerability and Focused Action

Kay and Duffy discuss the challenges of making a difference with limited resources, contrasting broad impact with focused efforts. Kay elaborates on vulnerability using the "arms open" metaphor and revisits the starfish analogy.

00:42:02
Sharing Joy and Conclusion

The episode emphasizes the power of sharing personal delights to foster connection and joy. It concludes with thanks to Sarah Kay, promotion of her book "A Little Daylight Left," and the host's book "Humor Me," followed by podcast credits.

Keywords

Spoken Word Poetry


A genre of poetry performed aloud, emphasizing delivery and audience engagement, often addressing social themes.

Vulnerability in Connection


Being open and exposed in relationships to foster deeper intimacy and trust.

Finding Beauty in Adversity


Appreciating positive aspects of life even amidst difficult circumstances to foster resilience.

Communal Experience


Shared activities or events that create a sense of togetherness and collective understanding.

Presence and Attention


Being fully engaged and focused on the current moment and people, showing genuine care.

Impact and Community Focus


Making a difference through concentrated efforts within a specific community or group.

Poetry Performance


The act of reciting or performing poetry in front of an audience, often involving theatrical elements.

Personal Finance Apps


Digital tools designed to help individuals manage their budgets, track spending, and achieve financial goals.

Online Therapy


Mental health support provided through digital platforms, connecting users with licensed therapists.

Online Learning Platforms


Websites offering courses and classes taught by experts in various fields, accessible online.

Q&A

  • How does Sarah Kay define the role of poetry in connecting with others?

    Sarah Kay views poetry as a communal art form that facilitates shared experiences, laughter, tears, learning, healing, and witnessing. It allows for a unique way to gather, share, and create a collective experience around live performance.

  • What does Sarah Kay mean by "arms open" versus "arms crossed"?

    "Arms open" signifies a willingness to be vulnerable, to be impacted by the world and people, and to engage openly. "Arms crossed" represents a defensive posture, being cool and unaffected, which Kay advocates against, encouraging openness instead.

  • How did Sarah Kay's experience in New York City shape her view of poetry?

    Growing up in vibrant, complex New York City exposed her to poetry slams at a young age. Witnessing poets perform in a communal setting transformed poetry from a solitary activity into something that could be shared, fostering a deep love for the art form.

  • What is the significance of the starfish in Sarah Kay's poem?

    The starfish symbolizes the importance of paying attention to individual moments and beings, even if they seem insignificant in the grand scheme. It highlights how a small act of attention can make a difference to that one individual, encouraging us to linger on what matters.

  • How does Sarah Kay suggest combating feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness?

    She suggests focusing on in-person community and shared activities, whether taking action, listening to a performance, or eating together. This fosters connection, provides energy, and restores hope by reminding us we are not alone.

  • What is the core message about demonstrating care in relationships?

    Kay emphasizes that simply thinking of someone isn't enough; care must be demonstrated through actions. This can range from a simple text to a phone call or a thoughtful gesture, converting internal feelings into tangible behaviors that reach others.

Show Notes

What makes a hometown home, and how do you find community? Sarah Kay is a spoken word poet and author of the latest poetry collection, A Little Daylight Left. Sarah and Chris grew up in New York City where the energetic and diverse community shaped their lives. They discuss how to find belonging in new neighborhoods, how to focus on creating art and being empathetic when it feels like the world is chaotic, and how to take note of the small things in life that bring them joy.


Host & Guest

Chris Duffy (Instagram: @chrisiduffy | https://chrisduffycomedy.com/)

Sarah Kay (Instagram: @kaysarahsera | https://kaysarahsera.com/)


Links

Humor Me by Chris Duffy: https://t.ted.com/ZGuYfcL


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How to find small delights in an uncontrollable world (w/ Sarah Kay)

How to find small delights in an uncontrollable world (w/ Sarah Kay)