DiscoverThe Psychology of It AllHumor, Humility, Altruism & How to screen for Mr or Miss Right in 2019
Humor, Humility, Altruism & How to screen for Mr or Miss Right in 2019

Humor, Humility, Altruism & How to screen for Mr or Miss Right in 2019

Update: 2018-12-31
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 Today I am going to talk about 3 mature defense mechanisms, and I will conclude with a list of 10 behaviors to help you Screen Mr. or Miss right in 2019: 



  • Humor is an adaptive technique to help us to cope with tense or stressful situations. Requires a bit of humility (our 2nd defense mechanism today) to use this tactfully.  It requires us to lower our expectations, sacrifice our pride and focus on the well-being of others which will be our third mature defense mechanism, altruism. The use of humor can enable you to pacify those around in tense conflicts and encourage cooperation. Looking for a funny aspect in an environment in which we lack control can help us to endure it. The use of humor can even be an act of altruism.


Learning to spin a traumatic experience in a way that provides some comedic relief can alleviate much suffering for all parties involved. Self-deprecating humor is often most helpful if it is not coming from a place of pity in which you are seeking compliments. Using humor is often away to joke about your own insecurities before someone else pokes fun at them. It also puts your humanity at the forefront and can make your more relatable. 


The ability to use humor requires a person to have good resilience. If this is not something, you have there will be a subsequent podcast talking about cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to enhance your resilience. So what would be an example of using humor: A person gets a diagnosis of cancer and must undergo chemo therapy which results in hair loss? The person reframes this by indicating that the bald head will take the attention off his massive growth, or that he will be saving a ton of money on shampoo, or comment on his lifelong desire to look like daddy Warbucks. 


Another means of using humor is when a man is concerned about his\/  Modest endowment, and he refers to his member as the Fun Sized, Just-in Slugger measuring thousands of microns designed for maximum comfort. 


The idea is to laugh at yourself and allow others to laugh along with you. Laughter enhances oxygenation, cardiovascular efficiency, surges endorphins and relaxes your muscles. A well placed chuckle can defuse much stress. 



  • Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but rather thinking of yourself less.  Humility is intelligent self-respect which keeps you from thinking too highly or too unkindly of yourself. Humility requires a state of being in which you realize you are likely far worse than accusers claim if they only knew how base your thoughts and motives are or have been. A humble mindset reminds you that you are not above succumbing to a similar circumstance or worldly trapping, it takes you out of the position of the judge so that you do not stand in moral judgement over someone who maybe engaging in a vice that you do not happen to struggle. The scriptural references often quoted implores you to remove the plank from your own eye, before you attempt to remove the spec from your brothers eye, or in the words of Christ, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

  • Altruism: simply defined as a constructive service to others for their own well-being. The sustainability of this defense mechanism usually requires the individual derive some personal satisfaction out of performing the service. If you have had struggles in your life often you are well poised to help someone else who has had a similar struggle. Many recovery programs build on this through various sponsorship and mentoring arrangements. 


So what should you be on the lookout for when considering romantic love and possibly marriage 2019? I am going to list 10 behaviors to be on the lookout for in a potential love interest or quality friendship. If they are demonstrating these behaviors they are lik

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Humor, Humility, Altruism & How to screen for Mr or Miss Right in 2019

Humor, Humility, Altruism & How to screen for Mr or Miss Right in 2019

Dr. Raymond Zakhari, NP