I’m a tribunal member, get me out of here!
It’s hard to tell if we’ve got more fireworks coming from faulty pyrotechnics or from this country’s sporting justice system. The NRL judiciary and AFL tribunal dominated the headlines this week and our boys are becoming concerned that the men and women who comprise these panels are becoming too much like C grade celebrities listening more to stylists and makeup artists than the lawyers and the fans.
So bad is it now, that the old defence of “It wasn’t me out there - I don’t remember being on the field” can’t even get our favourite grubs off from pulling opponents’ hair and sticking fingers up their nose!
Forget about climate strikes or oil prices, this is the major issue that needs to be addressed and in that spirit, Roy & HG put their heads together to come up with solutions. If our precious grubs are going to get suspended even when they’re guilty, it’s time to arm them on the field so they can do some proper damage and protect them off the field by replacing these pesky retired athletes with men and women from overseas that have zero connection to sport whatsoever.
The Wallabies are about to start their Rugby World Cup campaign looking to utilise the artful tactic of focusing on any wins in the last decade to build momentum whilst ignoring any losses from the last month. After all, the boys agreed with one of your emailed suggestions that Fiji will bring a lot of momentum from their 1954 win against the Wallabies into this first game.
But of bigger concern to the boys is how the Wallabies are currently promoting themselves to the youth of the country releasing special edition coins and wearing blazers and hats that are steel reinforced to keep the players from bursting out.
Instead, the boys feel like a World Cup team mascot would be far more effective and who better than to model this mascot on than the Wallabies own Tolu Latu asleep in a car. After all, Latu’s defence was probably “It wasn’t me in there” - what could go wrong?
All of that and a whole lot more from the week that was in sports and general buffoonery.