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I Love A Good Mind Poop

I Love A Good Mind Poop

Update: 2019-12-09


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  • Taking the beast lord before someone else does.

  • Being the bucket.

  • Being rooted to the ground and going down with the ship.

  • Brains autocorrecting puns out of existence.

  • Vouching for a deer prancing across a beach.

  • Not marrying someone born in the early 2000s.

  • Getting into that bucket.

  • Getting to sing in a room that's made for singing in.

  • A cat wanting to get into the recording studio really bad.

  • A cask of amontillado situation except the cask is the entire world outside the recording studio.

  • Choosing to consciously develop rituals for your son.

  • Throwing all of spirituality out with the bathwater.

  • Going to Hell even though you tried your best.

  • Being a steward of the land.

  • Recoiling from going out in public because social media has drained all your life energy.

  • Calling a dog a good dog when they're just being a dog.

  • Having a quiet reflection about the Solstice in the middle of a labyrinth.

  • Changing your real name because your pseudonym is better.

  • The murder squad rolling out.

  • Giving polygons the business and feeling bad for them.

  • Figuring out how to be a good person even though you're literally a monster.

  • The laws of physics demanding that you torture a goblin.

  • Turning into a grouse and being like "peace out, losers."

  • Creating an even worse relationship dynamic but at least this one isn't racist.

  • Rolling up a CVS middle manager for your D&D one-shot.

  • Working to become blind but always knowing you could work harder.

  • Meeting someone who won't admit that they like fun shapes.

  • Your local goth park ranger with a tattoo covered in flowers.

  • A toilet seat that vibrates at the brown note.

  • Knowing from experience that eventually you run out of poop.

  • Clicking random grids while you think about moss being illegal.

  • Outlawing Kate Moss as an unintentional side-effect of your moss legislation.

  • Being the moss lord.

  • Being the moss beast.

  • Muddling your mimosa because you're ahead of the curve.

  • Not drinking, but knowing so much about it that it'd be dangerous if you did.

  • Moss turning out to be the linchpin to global biological harmony.

  • Taking the time you used to spend itching and spending it reproducing.

  • Everybody being everything.

  • A Delightful Nightmare.

  • Having to wait because Mother is not ready yet.

  • Mother being ready now.

  • Mother turning out to be a free-roaming robotic spider about the size of a smart car.

  • Mother malfunctioning and kicking an aluminum folding chair across the room.

  • Mother vibrating out of the way like a cheap hotel bed.

  • A robot sticking out of the wall with crazy proboscis lips.

  • A robot that knows how to use chopsticks.

  • A flesh robot playing German industrial metal while you try to escape.

  • Mother remembering you and wanting to drink your blood.

  • Guessing sweaters until the beast lord tells you to stop.

  • A tourist attraction with a bunch of signs saying "don't come here"

  • Not wanting to die but on the other hand wanting a cool inscrutable death.

  • Having an animated gif of your cool death on your tombstone.

  • Joanna Newsom doing Aretha Franklin.

  • Not wanting to admit whether you're a doctor.

  • Playing a miniature game of snake in the spreadsheet that only you can perceive.

  • Still not having a catchphrase.

  • Being the beast bucket.

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I Love A Good Mind Poop

I Love A Good Mind Poop

Jim Stormdancer