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In the No Part 1

In the No Part 1

Update: 2018-10-11107
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Description

In 2017, radio-maker Kaitlin Prest released a mini-series called "No" about her personal struggle to understand and communicate about sexual consent. That show, which dives into the experience, moment by moment, of navigating sexual intimacy, struck a chord with many of us. It's gorgeous, deeply personal, and incredibly thoughtful. And it seemed to presage a much larger conversation that is happening all around us in this moment. And so we decided to embark, with Kaitlin, on our own exploration of this topic. Over the next three episodes, we'll wander into rooms full of college students, hear from academics and activists, and sit in on classes about BDSM. But to start things off, we are going to share with you the story that started it all. Today, meet Kaitlin (if you haven't already). 


In The No Part 1 is a collaboration with Kaitlin Prest. It was produced with help from Becca Bressler.


The "No" series, from The Heart was created by writer/director Kaitlin Prest, editors Sharon Mashihi and Mitra Kaboli, assistant producer Ariel Hahn and associate producer Phoebe Wang, associate sound designer Shani Aviram. Special thanks to actor Tommy Schell.


Check out Kaitlin's new show, The Shadows.


Support Radiolab today at Radiolab.org/donate

Comments (30)

Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings

Stop the "all men are evil rapists" SJW nonsense.

May 2nd
Reply

Jomo Maca

cz. CCC cccc. C. c C. c. , , , ,. cxxxxx C xaxz, a

Dec 30th
Reply

Keith Baker

For those struggling to understand why men persisting after being told "no" is a problem and how it remains a problem even if a "yes" is eventually obtained, it's because of the power structure in our society. Without getting terribly into it, wearing someone down by being persistent and not listening the first time places the woman in a compromised position because part of the underlying power structure is that women are expected to put men's needs first. Not to mention that trying to make the other party guilty for not wanting to participate with you is horribly manipulative and super not okay.

Dec 29th
Reply

Jenn Bley

Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings spoken like a true rapist

May 5th
Reply

Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings

Keith Baker If men said "ok bye" after a girl rejects him and stopped trying, the human race would literally no longer exist, as women don't approach men, it's MEN that do all the legwork. We HAVE to be persistent.

May 2nd
Reply

nina matzat

terrible I expected better from radiolab

Dec 17th
Reply

Adam Boarman

this is the worst episode of radiolab ever

Dec 10th
Reply

Elias Sido

Horrible episode with a double standard narsacism

Dec 4th
Reply

Nathaniel Hopf

He did absolutely nothing wrong

Dec 3rd
Reply

David Orozco

this is crazy blind to the male perspective it's kinda silly

Dec 3rd
Reply

JENNIFER WANG

Sorry this was insufferable

Dec 1st
Reply

Cy Greig

They were both responsible for what happened. Refusing to get it out in the open and discuss it after the fact ruined the friendship. Neither can fully blame the other for what happened. She could've pushed him off and stopped everything. She didn't do this knowing full well how this was causing him to respond. Taking initiative is a must even if you might not get everything you want. He kept pushing knowing she didn't want to have sex. He kept trying to cross that boundary after she said no. Knowing when to stop is essential as is actually stopping.

Dec 1st
Reply

Heather Boylen

Cy Greig her friend said he was going to bed and she called him back. how do you misconstrue that???

Apr 4th
Reply

Joe Clark

Terrible episode. Should have been called, "All Men are Rapists: How to Change Your Mind After the Fact"

Nov 28th
Reply

Sarah Smith

Great episode!

Nov 23rd
Reply

Forest Schweitzer

Thank you for making this.

Nov 16th
Reply

Becca Hall

This episode is great and has given me a lot of perspective on some sexual experiences I didnt want and how much coersion and emotional manipulation can affect me because of the way I have been brought up in society as a woman. MeToo

Nov 7th
Reply

Annette C

I see this story as an example of how both genders of us are confused about the issue of sex, when to engage, when to say "no" clearly, and how to hear it. I think women are confused, and I think men are confused. Some of the signals men have gotten from our culture about how to go about seducing a woman have contributed to the problem Some of the signals women have gotten from our culture about what is expected of them have contributed to the problem. I think this story illustrates this very well. Two good people tried to make something happen, but ended up ruining something instead. Shortly after listening to this podcast, I watched an episode of The Andy Griffith show. Barney Fife was on a double date with Andy, trying to force himself on his date in the back seat. The laughs came because he was unsuccessful. She fought him off and got out of the car. It was a non-issue. Made me cringe. No wonder we are so confused.

Oct 26th
Reply

Chaddwic Shay

pretty razzed by this one. I may get it wrong, but she agreed she wanted to masturbate and simultaneously watch him masturbate. Fine. it progressed into sex from there. not honestly too surprising. But i find it disturbing she could now essentially turn it into a sexual assault simply because she is female. If Jay suddenly felt afterwards that he was pressured into it we wouldn't accept it from him. so why is it run of the mill for a woman to decide afterwards that it was unwanted? without a clear NO moment it becomes very difficult, for me at least, to determine fault IMO

Oct 23rd
Reply

Heather Boylen

Cy Greig he said he was going to bed! she asked him to come back! she could've let him just go to bed.

Apr 4th
Reply

Cy Greig

Becca Hall He was pushy and should've stopped at the line. Knowing when to stop and actually stopping is the respectful thing to do. She also allowed this line to be crossed. Setting and sticking to a boundary you made is the responsible thing to do.

Dec 1st
Reply

Nina Clerecuzzio

worst episode ever

Oct 17th
Reply

Nina Clerecuzzio

Pete Dews The subject is beneath them. This episode felt like a buzzfeed feminist / Lifetime podcast. I listen to RadioLab to avoid that type of podcasts.

Oct 25th
Reply

Gabriella Arroyo

Nina Clerecuzzio i dno, the one about bears was pretty terrible...

Oct 22nd
Reply

Tyler Price

I hope there isn't a part 2. Booo

Oct 16th
Reply

Adrian Alexander

Original Title: The Narcissist Who Can't Say No

Oct 16th
Reply

BigPapaPump

One of the best podcasts I've ever listened to. Makes a man rethink his actions

Oct 13th
Reply
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