One of the energies that I get to dance with in this life is having Wei Qi issues.

Some people may have constitutional energies with anger, or persistent grief and sadness, or always needing things to be happy or easygoing, or fearfulness. Which energy you dance with in this lifetime is unique to you, and it’s something we can work through and learn from.

(While I’m not sure these energies can completely be overcome in one lifetime, I think that we can choose to have increasing awareness around and eventually move into a healthier and more balanced way of being. At one point I thought I could overcome anything through the right diet, herbs, lifestyle and sheer force of will. Now… I’m not so sure. Maybe I’ll change my mind about this all in the future, who knows.)

Again, the energy that I dance with in this lifetime is Wei Qi. Wei Qi is sort of like an amalgamation of the boundary between you and the world, your immune system, and is the combination of the health of your digestive system (Spleen/Stomach) and your respiratory system (Lung/Large Intestine).

This is the Metal and Earth of your body’s kingdom. Coincidentally enough or not, I am a Metal-Earth constitution in Five Element Chinese Medicine.

I view Wei Qi as the castle that’s made from stone and is protected with metal gates and guards at the gates and parapets.

I remember when I briefly dated someone who so wanted to come crashing through my carefully built castle.

During this period of time, I had a vision in a meditation of me being in a tower, and them pulling stones down one by one, and crashing through the portcullis (the metal gate).

This vision terrified me, and for good reason: it was not ME opening the gates for them to enter my kingdom, or me relaxing so the guards protecting me could relax - but them breaking down the protection between me and the world. It wasn’t a healing vision, but one of personal destruction. I was, in essence, engaged in a battle between what was best for me, and what they wanted. (Now, I want to be clear: this was a vision, so all of this is symbolic. I was and am safe/okay/good.)

It is each of our responsibility to honor what the regal one’s deem to be desirable, worthy, correct, healthy, wise for us. And if given the choice, the doors of not only the outer castle can be opened, but all the inner chamber ones as well. You, me, we, are the regal ones at the center of our kingdoms.

This means that since you are the Empress/Emperor/Sovereign being/etc of your world: YOU are the one who makes the choices as to who is to enter your world.

How you make those decisions is unique to you, but make them you do. And, who you let into your inner world is also up to you. This is YOUR choice, as the sovereign ruler of your personal kingdom.

To have a vision of someone that I was dating trying to tear down the sacredness of my personal kingdom felt… unsafe. It felt like a violation of my boundaries, even though no external/waking world violations had ever taken place (an example might be: speaking in a way that is disrespectful).

This is when things get nuanced.

Because Wei Qi is nuanced.

After all, it not only prevents the little bugs from getting us sick, it also protects our energy from other’s energy.

Know someone who seems to “catch” everyone else’s emotions and is very sensitive to other people’s energy in a way that makes that person sick or otherwise unwell in some way? Yup, that’s Wei Qi.

It’s also empathy, but there’s healthy empathy where Wei Qi is strong, and there’s unhealthy empathy where the Wei Qi is compromised so you “take on” whatever it is that you are in empathy with.

Because Wei Qi is connected to the health of your Lungs (or Metal element), it is very primal, it’s animalistic, it’s instinctual. And because it is also connected to your digestive system, you can only make more Wei Qi when you are inherently feeling safe (you know: rest and digest.)

Wei Qi is the way in which you respond to the stimuli in the world – but in an unconscious manner.

You are not consciously controlling your body’s response to being exposed to a virus, your body senses it and kicks into gear. That process is your Wei Qi.

So if you have some kind of Wei Qi issue… maintaining the “boundary” of health can be challenging.

You could be more prone to getting sick. Or, like me, your immune system can hold up for so long then suddenly collapse into sickness that lingers. It’s that one drop that broke through the dam, the one snowflake too many that created an avalanche.

Take, for instance how I managed to not get sick at all even though I was feeling really run down, then as soon as I went on vacation, I got sick. Held out, then collapse.

(Thankfully, in some ways, I’ve become wiser and I just rest rest rest rest rest while feeling sick. I rest until I’m sick of resting then rest a bit more. My friend Rebecca wrote about recovery here, should you want to learn more about it. Doing this, resting while sick, helps your Wei Qi because it’s not being depleted or stretched thin by managing recovery along with newness.)

On an emotional level, you can have a situation where someone wears you down over time by requesting the same thing that you’ve already said no to, again, and again, and again. Maybe you’ve even set a hard boundary about it, but they keep coming back and you eventually find yourself saying yes. That’s Wei Qi.

On a psychological level, I view Wei Qi being compromised as that which we are choosing to expose ourselves to upsetting images, media, news, people, etc which leave us feeling upset, anxious, depleted, or otherwise emotionally unwell. Compromising our Wei Qi can also come in the form of people with boundary issues. (Ever be around someone who hates other people’s boundaries and takes them personally? Yeah, that gets exhausting in time – especially when you might not be able to take the personal space to recoup between these “incidents” and develop more of a strong Wei Qi!)Being able to not necessarily withstand the impact from that subtle energy, but be unaffected by that energy is to have healthy Wei Qi.

And because this is Chinese Medicine at play here, and Wei Qi is ruled by the digestive and respiratory systems: taking care of your digestive health is of the utmost importance: eat right, do not eat and run, do not eat while standing, eat while sitting, eat with others, if you do not eat with others (as I do) then play music that you find enjoyable, avoid working while eating, etc. (Shameless plug for my self-published cookbook which you can buy here or here). Your respiratory health is of no less importance: wear the scarves in windy weather, be mindful of the air quality, eat Lung supportive foods (ie cooked pears in fall and winter, soups and stews), have the right amount of humidity in the air, etc.

There are herbs you can take to boost Wei Qi too (think: immune supportive herbs), you can soothe your nervous system to remind yourself that you are safe in your body. (Remember: the Wei Qi is primal, the nervous system is primal, if both of these deeply instinctual animal bodily functions are at ease then everything else functions better). Get good rest, avoid overworking, allow your Wei Qi to replenish at night. Interestingly enough, your Wei Qi circulates on the exterior of your body during the day, and moves to the inside of your body at night. So get that good restorative sleep, and if you do not sleep well: do what you can to sleep better!

I’ve been working on my Wei Qi in a more conscious manner the past couple+ years, and just as I felt great I fell off taking the herbs that were supporting my Wei Qi. (Oh to be human!) I realized that I felt a great amount of space and neutrality between me and the “outside world” – which was strange because I was always REALLY sensitive to other people’s emotions, moods, speech, etc. But, life life’d, and alongside falling off the herbal routine, I got physically and mentally exhausted (working and going to school part-time in your mid-40s is no joke). In time, sure enough… I agreed to do something that I initially had a “no” response to. The repetitive nature of the thing was what broke through my Wei Qi, and right up until I hit the point of exhaustion coupled with not taking the herbs, I had felt inner strength, space and fortitude.

My initial reaction to this recent Wei Qi breakdown was to feel shame, and to give myself a hard time about it. But, shaming myself or “cutting myself down” (with an emotional Metal object) would only weaken my Wei Qi further (and, interestingly enough, this yes-when-I-really-meant-no welcomed back the headaches that I had been free from for months.) It would serve no benevolent, loving, purpose to continue berating myself, for it would only keep my Wei Qi in a broken down state but also not honor my process or self.

Instead, accepting and loving myself unconditionally, being aware of where I’m at and what I still need to do, are most important.

Also, as someone who is a Metal constitution who seeks the perfection that Metal desires: I have to remind myself that I’m human having a human, messy experience…

Now I know: back to the Wei Qi herbs, back to being more conscious about it, and doing all the things stated above to cultivate and maintain healthy and strong Wei Qi.

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