Digest

This episode of "Cruel Classics" features a compilation of highlights from the Adam Corolla Show, showcasing the show's signature blend of humor, irreverence, and insightful commentary. The episode covers a wide range of topics, including music, pop culture, social issues, and personal experiences. The episode begins with a discussion about the "Zoom" theme song, leading to a humorous exchange about the song's lack of "genus aqua" and the number of "cocks" in the room. The conversation then shifts to the "New Zoo Review" song, with Adam suggesting they add a "bungaloo" to the mix. The episode also features a segment where Adam interviews the CEO of Jack in the Box, discussing the company's history, its iconic apple pie, and its rivalry with other fast food chains. Throughout the episode, Adam and his co-hosts engage in a variety of humorous discussions, including the decline of "T&A" in R-rated movies, the absurdity of public service announcements, and the importance of hustle in the entertainment industry. The episode concludes with Adam's thoughts on wealth distribution and happiness, emphasizing the importance of hard work and personal achievement.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction and Podcast Overview

The podcast introduces itself as "Cruel Classics," a show dedicated to playing the best moments and highlights from the Adam Corolla Show. It also mentions a companion podcast available exclusively through Adam Corolla's sub-stack and encourages listeners to subscribe for bonus content.

00:00:36

Adam Corolla Show Clip: Zoom Song and the "Genus Aqua"

Adam Corolla and his co-hosts discuss a tweet praising their rendition of the "Zoom" theme song. They decide to play the original theme and then have Joe Coy sing over it, leading to a humorous discussion about the song's lack of "genus aqua" and the number of "cocks" in the room.

00:10:44

New Zoo Review Song and the "Bungaloo"

The conversation shifts to the "New Zoo Review" song, with Adam suggesting they add a "bungaloo" to the mix. They discuss the importance of alliteration in children's songs and debate the merits of different animal names.

00:01:42

Kevin the Black Correspondent

Adam receives a tweet from Kevin, a 29-year-old from Florida, who wants to be the show's black correspondent. Adam and his co-hosts engage in a humorous back-and-forth with Kevin, questioning his qualifications and ultimately deciding to keep him in mind for future "urban news stories."

00:24:04

Jack in the Box CEO Interview

Adam interviews the CEO of Jack in the Box, discussing the company's history, its iconic apple pie, and the rivalry with other fast food chains. They also touch on the company's recent marketing campaigns, including the mini cowboy commercials.

00:37:42

Listener Mail: Favorite Bands and Tacos

Adam and Jack read listener mail, with one question asking about Jack's favorite band. Jack chooses Meatloaf, citing his underdog status and the unlikely nature of his rock star career. Another listener praises Jack in the Box tacos, acknowledging their unique flavor that transcends the traditional taco.

00:45:18

80s Teen Comedy Movies and the Decline of TNA

Adam and Jack discuss the popularity of 80s teen comedies like "Porky's" and "Revenge of the Nerds," criticizing their humor and the decline of "T\u0026A" in R-rated movies. They lament the lack of traditional "TNA" in modern films and express a desire for its return.

00:49:13

J-Walking Ticket for a Hero

Adam and Jack discuss a recent news story about a bus driver who was hit by a truck after helping two women cross the street. They criticize the police for giving the bus driver a J-walking ticket and argue that pedestrians should have the right of way.

00:53:12

Adam's Complaints: Automatic Flushes and Germs

Adam complains about automatic flushes on urinals, arguing that he prefers the tactile experience of pulling the handle. He also expresses his disdain for germs and his belief that he is immune to sickness.

00:59:09

NFL Film Theme Music and the Decline of Real Instruments

Adam complains about the use of synthesizers in modern music, arguing that the old NFL film theme music, with its brass and bassoons, was superior because it was created using real instruments. He criticizes the cheaper, synthetic approach to music production.

01:01:56

Adam's Oral Sex Theory

Adam discusses his theory that the enjoyment of any experience, including oral sex, diminishes with repetition. He compares it to the experience of eating at a fancy restaurant, where the initial excitement fades with repeated visits.

01:06:52

Burger King King and the Scepter

Adam and Jack discuss the Burger King King, speculating on his personal life and suggesting that he is a "nailer" who enjoys a wild lifestyle. They also discuss the disturbing implications of his scepter and his lack of a wife and children.

01:09:50

The Demise of the Jockstrap

Adam and Jack discuss the decline of the jockstrap in the age of Under Armour and the impact it has had on sports commentary. They lament the loss of classic jockstrap-related jokes and the lack of a suitable replacement for the iconic garment.

01:11:55

Adam's Utopia and the Psychology of Government

Adam outlines his vision for Utopia, advocating for a government based on psychology and sociology. He believes that humans should be treated like animals and that the government should focus on getting people to do what it wants, rather than relying on moral arguments or ideology.

01:15:40

Adam Corolla's Take on Wealth and Happiness

Adam Corolla expresses his views on wealth distribution and happiness. He argues that true happiness comes from hard work and satisfaction, not handouts. He emphasizes the importance of personal achievement and criticizes the idea of relying on government assistance.

01:16:51

Jacuzzi Tubs and the Art of Complaining

Adam Corolla discusses his aversion to jacuzzi tubs in hotel rooms, finding them unnecessary and wasteful. He shares a humorous anecdote about his friend Ray's unusual jacuzzi experience, involving water filling and subsequent expulsion.

01:34:55

Road Etiquette and the Silent Menace of Teslas

Adam Corolla delves into road etiquette, particularly in residential areas. He highlights the challenges of navigating quiet electric cars, especially Teslas, and shares an amusing encounter with a Tesla driver who struggled to communicate with him due to the car's silence.

01:42:18

The Dream Home and the Ultimate Neighbor Driver

Adam Corolla discusses his plans for building a dream home with his daughter Natalia. He recounts a humorous incident involving a neighbor who honked at him for a brief conversation with Natalia while they were switching cars.

01:47:15

The Business of Entertainment and the Importance of Hustle

Adam Corolla talks about the realities of the entertainment industry, emphasizing the lack of guarantees and the importance of constant hustle. He shares his experiences with meetings and projects that yielded no immediate financial reward, highlighting the need to be proactive and persistent.

01:56:31

The Half Marathon and the Absurdity of Half-Measures

Adam Corolla expresses his skepticism about half marathons, arguing that they are pointless and lack the accomplishment of a full marathon. He compares the concept to eating half a meal or climbing half a mountain, suggesting that it's better to go all in or not at all.

02:00:24

The Literary World and the Softness of Publishers

Adam Corolla discusses his experience with the publishing world, revealing the surprising lack of professionalism and the prevalence of vacation time among publishers. He compares them to Europeans, particularly Parisians, who prioritize leisure over work.

02:05:50

The Absurdity of Public Service Announcements

Adam Corolla criticizes the effectiveness and absurdity of public service announcements, particularly those related to airplane turbulence, gun violence, and hunger. He argues that these PSAs are often ineffective and fail to address real issues.

02:13:58

The Stern Compliment and the Uniqueness of the Howard Stern Show

Adam Corolla shares a story about receiving a compliment from Howard Stern, highlighting Stern's unique style and the difficulty of replicating his show. He discusses the challenges of handing over a show that is so deeply personal and ingrained with the host's personality.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is the main purpose of the "Cruel Classics" podcast?

  "Cruel Classics" is a podcast that plays the best moments and highlights from the Adam Corolla Show, offering listeners a curated selection of the show's most entertaining and memorable segments.

• What is Adam's opinion on the use of synthesizers in modern music?

  Adam criticizes the use of synthesizers in modern music, arguing that the old NFL film theme music, with its brass and bassoons, was superior because it was created using real instruments. He believes that the cheaper, synthetic approach to music production results in a less authentic and less powerful sound.

• What is Adam's theory about the enjoyment of oral sex?

  Adam believes that the enjoyment of any experience, including oral sex, diminishes with repetition. He compares it to the experience of eating at a fancy restaurant, where the initial excitement fades with repeated visits. He suggests that this is why people cheat, seeking to recapture the initial thrill of a new experience.

• What is Adam's vision for Utopia?

  Adam believes that Utopia should be a society where the government is based on psychology and sociology, treating humans like animals and focusing on getting them to do what it wants. He rejects moral arguments and ideology, believing that the government should simply focus on achieving its goals through manipulation and control.

• What is Adam Corolla's main argument about wealth and happiness?

  Adam Corolla believes that true happiness comes from hard work and personal achievement, not from handouts or government assistance. He criticizes the idea of relying on others for financial security and emphasizes the importance of self-reliance.

• Why does Adam Corolla dislike jacuzzi tubs in hotel rooms?

  Adam Corolla finds jacuzzi tubs in hotel rooms unnecessary and wasteful. He finds the idea of using them uncomfortable and prefers to avoid them altogether. He also highlights the potential for unsanitary conditions due to inadequate cleaning practices.

• What is Adam Corolla's experience with quiet electric cars like Teslas?

  Adam Corolla finds quiet electric cars, particularly Teslas, challenging to navigate in residential areas. He shares an amusing anecdote about a Tesla driver who struggled to communicate with him due to the car's silence, highlighting the potential for miscommunication and confusion.

• What is Adam Corolla's main point about the entertainment industry?

  Adam Corolla emphasizes the lack of guarantees and the importance of constant hustle in the entertainment industry. He shares his experiences with meetings and projects that yielded no immediate financial reward, highlighting the need to be proactive and persistent in pursuing opportunities.

• Why does Adam Corolla dislike half marathons?

  Adam Corolla believes that half marathons are pointless and lack the accomplishment of a full marathon. He compares the concept to eating half a meal or climbing half a mountain, suggesting that it's better to go all in or not at all. He argues that a full marathon is a more impressive feat and a more worthwhile goal.

Show Notes