Langston Kerman, Will Hines, Ronnie Adrian
3Digest
This episode of Comedy Bang Bang features a diverse cast of characters with equally strange stories. Langston Kerman, a comedian with a new standup special on Netflix called "Bad Poetry," shares his experience working with John Mulaney as director. Alan Freeman, a sci-fi writer, recounts his career and the mysterious disappearance of his wife, which inspired his new books about body swapping and mind control. The hosts speculate that a young girl named Nancy, who became Alan's assistant after his wife vanished, might be his wife transformed by a lightning strike. Kill Gore Van Helsing, a blood scientist specializing in synthetic blood for vampires, introduces his work and his family history as vampire hunters. The episode ends with a discussion about Nancy's possible connection to Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, leaving the audience with more questions than answers.
Outlines
Introduction, Langston Kerman, and Bad Poetry
The episode begins with a brief introduction and a humorous opening line. The hosts then introduce Langston Kerman, a comedian and actor, who has a new standup special on Netflix called "Bad Poetry." Langston discusses his new standup special "Bad Poetry," which was directed by John Mulaney. He shares the story of how he cold-emailed Mulaney and eventually got him to direct the special.
Alan Freeman's Sci-Fi Career and Missing Wife
Alan Freeman, a sci-fi writer, talks about his career, which peaked in the 1970s. He discusses his most famous book series, "The Quantum Soldiers," and how his sales declined over time. Alan Freeman reveals that his wife vanished one day while going grocery shopping. He describes the strange circumstances surrounding her disappearance, including a lightning bolt that struck just as she left the house.
Alan Freeman's Relationship with Nancy and New Books
Alan Freeman shares the story of how he met a young girl named Nancy who started mowing his lawn after his wife disappeared. He describes their friendship and how Nancy eventually became his assistant. Alan Freeman pitches three of his new books, "Possessed My Husband," "How I Took Over My Husband's Brain," and "The Octopus of Jealousy." He discusses the inspiration behind these books and how they relate to his wife's disappearance.
The Mystery of Nancy and a Strange Phone Call
The hosts speculate about the possibility that Nancy might be Alan Freeman's wife who was transformed into a young girl by the lightning bolt. They decide to text Nancy and ask her about it. Alan Freeman receives a strange text message from his wife, Nancy, who has seemingly turned into a 12-year-old girl. He tries to clarify the situation with Nancy through text, but her responses are cryptic and confusing.
Alan's Explanation and Kill Gore Van Helsing's Introduction
Alan explains the situation with Nancy to the hosts and introduces Kill Gore Van Helsing, a blood scientist who specializes in creating synthetic blood for vampires.
Kill Gore's Blood Science and Vampire Theories
Kill Gore discusses his work creating synthetic blood that tastes like real blood, targeting vampires as his primary market. He believes vampires are real and that his work could help them integrate into society. Kill Gore reveals his family history as vampire hunters, explaining how his last name, Van Helsing, is connected to the famous vampire hunter from the movies. He discusses his transition from impossible burger maker to blood scientist.
Testing the Impossible Blood and Nancy's Response
Kill Gore offers to test his synthetic blood on Alan, who is still trying to process the situation with Nancy. The hosts discuss the possibility of Nancy being a vampire. Nancy responds to Alan's questions, confirming that she is not a vampire. Alan expresses his emotional distress over the situation, feeling betrayed and confused.
Kill Gore's Branding and Product Details
Kill Gore discusses the branding of his synthetic blood, including the cross-shaped container and the holy water-flavored option. He explains his guarantee for the product and its intended use for both vampires and humans. The hosts discuss the physiological aspects of vampires, specifically whether they defecate. Nancy's husband, Sidney, is mentioned, and Kill Gore expresses interest in meeting him.
Plugs and Show Wrap-Up
The hosts plug their respective projects, including Langston's upcoming special, Kill Gore's synthetic blood, and the Comedy Bang Bang tour. The show concludes with a discussion about Nancy's possible connection to Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen.
Keywords
Bad Poetry
Langston Kerman's new standup special on Netflix, which was directed by John Mulaney. The special is about Kerman's experiences as a father and his thoughts on the world.
The Quantum Soldiers
Alan Freeman's most famous book series, which follows soldiers who can exist in multiple places at the same time. The series explores the consequences of splitting one's consciousness and the challenges of maintaining a sense of self.
John Mulaney
A well-known comedian and actor who directed Langston Kerman's standup special "Bad Poetry." Mulaney is known for his observational humor and his ability to create relatable characters.
Nancy
A young girl who started mowing Alan Freeman's lawn after his wife disappeared. She eventually became his assistant and helped him with his writing. The hosts speculate that she might be his wife who was transformed into a young girl by the lightning bolt.
Kill Gore Van Helsing
A fictional character on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, Kill Gore Van Helsing is a blood scientist who specializes in creating synthetic blood for vampires. He is a self-proclaimed expert on vampires and believes they are real.
Synthetic Blood
A type of blood that is not derived from living organisms but is designed to mimic the properties of real blood. It is often used in medical research and for blood transfusions.
Vampire
A mythical creature that feeds on the blood of living beings. Vampires are often depicted as undead and possessing supernatural abilities, such as immortality and superhuman strength.
Comedy Bang Bang
A comedy podcast hosted by Scott Aukerman. The show features a variety of guests, including comedians, actors, and musicians.
Q&A
What is Langston Kerman's new standup special called and who directed it?
Langston Kerman's new standup special is called "Bad Poetry" and it was directed by John Mulaney.
What is Alan Freeman's most famous book series and what is it about?
Alan Freeman's most famous book series is "The Quantum Soldiers," which follows soldiers who can exist in multiple places at the same time. The series explores the consequences of splitting one's consciousness and the challenges of maintaining a sense of self.
What happened to Alan Freeman's wife?
Alan Freeman's wife vanished one day while going grocery shopping. He describes the strange circumstances surrounding her disappearance, including a lightning bolt that struck just as she left the house.
Who is Nancy and what is her relationship to Alan Freeman?
Nancy is a young girl who started mowing Alan Freeman's lawn after his wife disappeared. She eventually became his assistant and helped him with his writing. The hosts speculate that she might be his wife who was transformed into a young girl by the lightning bolt.
What are the titles of Alan Freeman's new books?
Alan Freeman's new books are "Possessed My Husband," "How I Took Over My Husband's Brain," and "The Octopus of Jealousy." He discusses the inspiration behind these books and how they relate to his wife's disappearance.
What is Kill Gore Van Helsing's profession?
Kill Gore Van Helsing is a blood scientist who specializes in creating synthetic blood for vampires.
What is the purpose of Kill Gore's synthetic blood?
Kill Gore's synthetic blood is designed to taste like real blood and is intended for vampires who want to integrate into society and avoid feeding on humans.
What is the connection between Kill Gore's last name and the famous vampire hunter?
Kill Gore's great-great-grandfather was a vampire hunter, and the movie "Van Helsing" was loosely based on his life.
What is the significance of Nancy's transformation into a 12-year-old girl?
Nancy's transformation is a mystery, and her true nature and motivations remain unclear. The hosts speculate that she may be a vampire or that she is simply trying to escape her life with Alan.
Show Notes
Comedian and actor Langston Kerman joins Scott to talk about his new Netflix comedy special Bad Poetry, how John Mulaney got involved to direct it, and what role he would play in John Wick. Then, Sci-Fi writer Alan Freeman stops by to talk about his new series of books. Plus, Kilgorious Van Helsing drops by to talk about his synthetic blood business.
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