Digest

This episode of "Cruel Classics" features highlights from the Adam Carolla Show, covering a wide range of topics. Adam starts by complaining about Dr. Drew's attractiveness and Liz Taylor's longevity, then moves on to criticize the rise of cupcakes and the decline of pies. He shares a story about his father's struggles with technology and discusses the difference between hash and hashish. The conversation then shifts to football, with Adam arguing against the tuck rule and expressing his reliance on the NFL Network for football content. The episode delves into various urban myths, including the story of Rod Stewart having his stomach pumped after consuming too much semen. Adam explores the phenomenon of comedians telling the same jokes and theorizes about the variation in penis size among men. He believes that symmetry is the key to attractiveness in men and that goofiness is correlated with penis size. The podcast transitions to a segment featuring Joel Stein, Larry Miller, and Alison Rosen. They discuss music, news updates, and a hypothetical road trip game. Alison delivers a news segment about a school shooting in Gardina, prompting Adam to criticize the lack of focus on parental responsibility in such incidents. The conversation then turns to the government's effectiveness in deterring certain behaviors through incentives and penalties, leading to a discussion about the need for similar measures to hold parents accountable for their children's actions. The episode explores various news stories, including the Japanese scientists' claim to have the technology to clone a woolly mammoth, the resurgence of pie as a dessert trend, and a fungus-encrusted silkworm from Nepal marketed as a natural aphrodisiac. Adam expresses skepticism about Eastern medicine and argues that Western medicine is superior for serious health issues. Larry Miller joins the conversation and shares his stance on punishing parents for their children's actions. Adam and Larry discuss the psychological impact of increased security measures in schools and question their effectiveness. The conversation then turns to Charles Manson's name and the dunking chair as a form of punishment. Adam recounts an incident where he was interrupted from his nap by his dog's barking, leading to a humorous exchange about cultural differences and dog barks. Adam and Larry play a game where they have to choose who they would rather drive with on a road trip, based on various hypothetical scenarios. Joel Stein shares a story about his early career and a frustrating experience trying to interview Craig Kilborn. The conversation then shifts to Kilborn's reputation as a \"dick\" and his behavior towards the speaker at a basketball game. They discuss actors who excel at playing \"dicks\" in movies and share a harrowing experience with Michael Madsen. Joel discusses his current project: a book about learning how to be a man. He shares his experiences with fighting, basic training, and other \"man adventures.\" He recounts a humiliating experience during basic training where he fainted and a mysterious rash he developed after basic training. The conversation shifts to the topic of Jewish representation in Hollywood, with Joel discussing a column he wrote about the perception that Hollywood is controlled by Jews. He also reflects on his own experiences with Jewish culture and how his life became \"Jewier\" after moving to Los Angeles. Joel discusses his friend Kevin Hench, a talented comedian who struggles to find opportunities in Hollywood because he doesn't fit the typical \"funny guy\" look. He argues that there's a bias against white guys in comedy. Joel recounts a story about his son's severe allergy to mixed nuts, highlighting the irony of his previous column about allergies being a \"made-up thing.\" He concludes by discussing his Jewish upbringing and the influence of his step-grandfather, a Hungarian Jew, who instilled in him a strong sense of Jewish culture.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction and Show Overview

The podcast introduces "Cruel Classics," a podcast featuring highlights from the Adam Carolla Show. It provides contact information for listeners to request clips and mentions the upcoming episode featuring Frank Stallone, Jim Florentine, and Ralph Garman.

00:00:38

Adam Carolla's Complaints: Dr. Drew and Liz Taylor

Adam Carolla starts the show with a segment where he complains about Dr. Drew's attractiveness and Liz Taylor's longevity. He discusses how Dr. Drew seems to get better looking with age while Liz Taylor has been "dying" for years.

00:01:27

Adam Carolla's Complaints: Cupcakes and Candles

Adam Carolla continues his complaints, this time focusing on the rise of cupcakes and the decline of pies. He criticizes the impracticality of cupcakes and the absurdity of putting candles on them. He also expresses his dislike for the trend of putting pictures on cakes.

00:18:39

Adam Carolla's Complaints: Dad's Tech Troubles

Adam Carolla shares a story about his father's struggles with technology, specifically his inability to find the seatbelt in his car and his confusion with the Adam Carolla Show website.

00:22:46

Adam Carolla's Complaints: Hashish and Weed

Adam Carolla discusses the difference between hash and hashish and expresses his preference for regular weed. He complains about the strong smell of weed and the difficulty of transporting it without being detected.

00:25:37

Football Season and the Tuck Rule

Adam Carolla talks about the NFL offseason and his reliance on the NFL Network for football content. He discusses the tuck rule and argues that it is a nonsensical rule that is defended by Patriots fans without honor.

00:33:54

The Pussycat Theater and Gay Erotica

Adam Carolla reminisces about the Elportale Theater in North Hollywood and its transformation into the Pussycat Theater. He discusses the history of the Pussycat Theater chain and how it became a popular destination for gay men seeking Erotica.

00:42:20

Urban Myths and Rod Stewart's Stomach Pump

Adam Carolla discusses the urban myth of Rod Stewart having his stomach pumped after consuming too much semen. He explores the origins of this myth and how it spread despite the lack of internet at the time.

00:47:09

The Synchronicity of Jokes and Human Similarity

Adam Carolla discusses the phenomenon of comedians telling the same jokes and argues that it is a result of human beings being wired similarly. He uses the example of a killer whale incident and how both he and Mike August came up with the same joke.

00:52:40

The Mystery of Wang Size and Symmetry

Adam Carolla explores the variation in penis size among men and theorizes that it is a cosmic joke. He discusses the correlation between goofiness and penis size and argues that symmetry is the key to attractiveness in men.

01:03:59

Adam Carolla Show 4-EV: Joel Stein, Larry Miller, and Alison Rosen

The podcast transitions to a segment from the Adam Carolla Show featuring Joel Stein, Larry Miller, and Alison Rosen. The segment includes news updates, a hypothetical road trip game, and a discussion about music.

01:11:43

Music and Pinnacle College

The conversation starts with a discussion about music, with Adam expressing his dislike for certain genres. The conversation then shifts to an advertisement for Pinnacle College, highlighting its music production program and its faculty.

01:12:54

School Shooting in Gardina and Parental Responsibility

Alison Rosen delivers a news segment about a school shooting in Gardina, where a gun accidentally discharged in a student's backpack, injuring two other students. Adam expresses frustration with the lack of focus on parental responsibility in such incidents.

01:23:53

Government Incentives and Parental Accountability

Adam draws a parallel between the government's effectiveness in deterring certain behaviors through incentives and penalties, like parking in handicap zones, and the need for similar measures to hold parents accountable for their children's actions.

01:29:35

Woolly Mammoth Cloning and Scientific Priorities

The conversation shifts to a news story about Japanese scientists who claim to have the technology to clone a woolly mammoth. Adam expresses skepticism about the project, questioning the priorities of science when there are more pressing issues like finding a cure for cancer.

01:33:27

The Rise of Pie and the Decline of Cake

A news article about the resurgence of pie as a dessert trend is discussed. Adam argues that pie is superior to cake, highlighting its affordability and deliciousness. He challenges listeners to find a cake that can compete with a $7 pie.

01:39:29

Himalayan Viagra and Eastern Medicine

The conversation turns to a news story about a fungus-encrusted silkworm from Nepal, marketed as a natural aphrodisiac. Adam expresses skepticism about Eastern medicine, arguing that it's often ineffective and that Western medicine is superior for serious health issues.

01:44:18

Larry Miller's Stance on Parental Punishment

Larry Miller joins the conversation and shares his stance on punishing parents for their children's actions, stating that he agrees with the concept but would make an exception for his own children.

01:46:50

The Impact of Security Measures on Children

Adam and Larry discuss the psychological impact of increased security measures in schools, arguing that they create a sense of fear and anxiety for children. They question the effectiveness of such measures and the overall direction society is heading towards.

01:51:26

Charles Manson's Name and the Dunking Chair

Adam shares a thought about Charles Manson's name, finding it ironic that a serial killer has a formal name. The conversation then turns to the dunking chair as a form of punishment, with Adam expressing his fondness for it.

01:51:58

A Dog's Bark and a Nanny's Nap

Adam recounts an incident where he was trying to take a nap but was interrupted by his dog's barking. He gets annoyed at his nanny for not recognizing the dog's "I want in" bark, leading to a humorous exchange about cultural differences and dog barks.

01:55:52

The Hypothetical Road Trip Game

Adam and Larry play a game where they have to choose who they would rather drive with on a road trip, based on various hypothetical scenarios. The game involves choosing between a woman with excessive body art, a guy who claims to hate the Beatles, a comedian who only has material about his race, a porn convention autograph guy, and a guy with spinner rims on a minivan.

02:02:48

Larry Miller's Show and Comedy Clubs

Larry Miller promotes his show, "This Week with Larry Miller," and discusses his upcoming performances in Austin, Texas and Washington, D.C. He shares his thoughts on comedy clubs and the importance of a good microphone.

02:03:19

Joel Stein's Early Career and Craig Killborn

Joel Stein joins the conversation and shares a story about his early career, when he was offered a writing job on "The Man Show" but declined due to his girlfriend's objections. He also recounts a frustrating experience trying to interview Craig Killborn for his show.

02:04:16

Craig Kilborn: A Dick?

The conversation starts with a discussion about Craig Kilborn's reputation as a "dick." The speaker argues that if someone has a reputation for being a jerk, there's likely some truth to it. They use the example of Koreans being perceived as bad drivers, suggesting that there must be some basis for the stereotype.

02:06:29

Kilborn's Basketball Game Snub

The speaker recounts an encounter with Kilborn at a basketball game. Kilborn, known for playing with celebrities like Gary Shandling and Billy Crystal, brushed off the speaker's invitation to join their game, despite the speaker's attempts to be friendly.

02:07:42

Actors Who Play Dicks in Movies

The conversation shifts to actors who excel at playing "dicks" in movies. The speaker suggests that actors who are good at playing dicks or crazy characters often embody those traits in real life. They discuss actors like Jeremy Piven and Kanye West, speculating on their personalities.

02:09:42

Michael Madsen: The Darkest Day

The speaker shares a harrowing experience with Michael Madsen, describing it as the "darkest day" of their life. They recount a disturbing encounter at Madsen's Malibu house, involving alcohol, a samurai sword, and a tense atmosphere.

02:11:11

The "Sea Bomb" and Anger Management

The speaker discusses their anger management style, revealing a technique they call the "sea bomb." They explain that they use this technique to express anger in a way that goes "right to the core" of the person they're arguing with.

02:13:31

Joel's Man Adventures

The conversation turns to Joel's current project: a book about learning how to be a man. He shares his experiences with fighting, basic training, and other "man adventures" he's undertaken.

02:16:34

Fainting During Basic Training

Joel recounts a humiliating experience during basic training where he fainted during an explanation about tanks. He describes the incident as a result of sleep deprivation and nervousness, and how it almost led to him being sent home.

02:17:45

Shiggers and the Beverly Hills Doctor

Joel shares a story about a mysterious rash he developed after basic training. He describes his visit to a Beverly Hills doctor who dismissed the rash as "entomological" and his subsequent internet research that revealed he had shiggers, a type of bug bite.

02:18:42

The Jewishness of Hollywood

The conversation shifts to the topic of Jewish representation in Hollywood. Joel discusses a column he wrote about the perception that Hollywood is controlled by Jews, arguing that it's a ridiculous notion. He also reflects on his own experiences with Jewish culture and how his life became "Jewier" after moving to Los Angeles.

02:20:23

Kevin Hench: The Unfunny White Guy

Joel discusses his friend Kevin Hench, a talented comedian who struggles to find opportunities in Hollywood because he doesn't fit the typical "funny guy" look. He argues that there's a bias against white guys in comedy, similar to how people might feel uncomfortable with a doctor of a certain ethnicity.

02:21:28

Allergies and Mixed Nuts

Joel recounts a story about his son's severe allergy to mixed nuts. He describes how his wife gave their son mixed nuts, leading to a disastrous situation and highlighting the irony of his previous column about allergies being a "made-up thing."

02:22:40

Joel's Jewish Upbringing

Joel discusses his Jewish upbringing, emphasizing the influence of his step-grandfather, a Hungarian Jew, who instilled in him a strong sense of Jewish culture. He contrasts his own experiences with those of his Jewish friends who thrived in affluent neighborhoods, while he and his friends struggled in North Hollywood.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is the tuck rule and why is it so controversial?

  The tuck rule determines whether a quarterback's forward pass is incomplete or a fumble. It states that if a quarterback's forward pass is not released before his arm starts to move forward, it is a fumble. It is controversial because it is often seen as a nonsensical rule that is applied inconsistently.

• What is the history of the Pussycat Theater and why was it popular among gay men?

  The Pussycat Theater was a chain of adult theaters that were popular in the 1970s and 1980s. They were known for showing adult films and were often frequented by gay men because they provided a space for cruising and meeting other men.

• What is the urban myth about Rod Stewart and why is it so fascinating?

  The urban myth claims that Rod Stewart had his stomach pumped after consuming too much semen. It is fascinating because it is a bizarre and widely believed story that has no basis in fact.

• How does Adam Carolla explain the phenomenon of comedians telling the same jokes?

  Adam Carolla believes that comedians telling the same jokes is a result of human beings being wired similarly. He argues that the adolescent brain is similar across different regions and that people are likely to come up with the same jokes.

• What is Adam Carolla's theory about the correlation between goofiness and penis size?

  Adam Carolla theorizes that goofier men tend to have larger penises. He believes that this is a cosmic joke and that it helps to keep the genes going.

• What is Adam Carolla's theory about the importance of symmetry in male attractiveness?

  Adam Carolla believes that symmetry is the key to attractiveness in men. He argues that men who have symmetrical features, from the tip of their finger to the tip of their tongue, are considered more attractive because they appear to be genetically fit.

• What is Adam's main argument regarding school shootings?

  Adam believes that parents should be held accountable for their children's actions, arguing that they have a responsibility to supervise and guide their children, especially when it comes to firearms.

• What is Adam's stance on Eastern medicine?

  Adam is skeptical of Eastern medicine, believing that it's often ineffective and that Western medicine is more reliable for serious health issues. He uses the example of Magic Johnson's HIV diagnosis and treatment to illustrate his point.

• What is Larry Miller's stance on punishing parents for their children's actions?

  Larry Miller agrees with the concept of punishing parents for their children's actions, but he would make an exception for his own children, highlighting the complexities of parental responsibility.

Show Notes