'Toxic masculinity' is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days but a lot of guys seem not to like it... Maybe it's the 'toxic' part? In this episode of BANG! Melody Thomas takes a trip to a Coromandel pub to hear about 'Man Cards', gets some great metaphors from comedian and teen mentor James Nokise and trades weather burns and communication tips with psychologist Zac Seidler.

Warning: This episode includes explicit language, discussion of rape, suicide and mental health.

'Toxic masculinity' is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days but a lot of guys seem not to like it... Maybe it's the 'toxic' part?

People like Fox News host Tucker Carlson and Canadian psychology professor and "culture warrior" Jordan B Peterson believe masculinity is under attack. They (and many others) argue that efforts to deconstruct gender norms - you know, encouraging boys to play with dolls and girls to pick up trucks - are hurting men.

Modern men are lost, because they don't know how to be "men" anymore.

What is going on? Are men being exposed for the villains they have always been or are they being cast in that role before they even get the chance to show us otherwise?

What is masculinity? Is it changing? If it is, what new shape is it taking? And why is that so scary for people?

On the internet, we're shouting across a void, that's getting bigger and bigger, so the chances of hearing each other get less and less.

How do we fix this?

In this episode of Bang! Melody Thomas takes a trip to a Coromandel pub to hear about 'Man Cards', gets some great metaphors from comedian and teen mentor James Nokise, and trades weather burns with Australian psychologist Zac Seidler.

Along the way she (hopefully) gets some answers.

Here is a list of resources for those seeking help:

Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357

Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.

Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7)

Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)

Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz

What's Up: online chat (7pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 children's helpline (1pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-10pm weekends)

Kidsline (ages 5-18): 0800 543 754 (24/7)

Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254

Healthline: 0800 611 116

Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details