Deep Dive into Desiring God by John Piper - Marriage: A Matrix for Christian Hedonism

The foundation of marriage is a profound mystery: God created human marriage to reflect and image forth the eternal covenant relationship between Christ and the Church. This means the roles of husband and wife are not arbitrary but are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ as Head and the Church as His body.

The governing principle for all marital interaction is Christian Hedonism, which defines love as the pursuit of one's own joy in the holy joy of the beloved. This mandates that both spouses channel their innate desire for happiness by wholeheartedly pursuing the happiness and well-being of the other. Because a husband and wife become "one flesh," seeking the spouse’s joy inherently secures one’s own, mirroring Christ’s pursuit of His own joy in the Church’s splendor and purity.

The husband is called to model Christ, exercising headship through Christlike servant leadership, provision, and protection. This leadership is sacrificial, willing to suffer and even die for the wife’s life and splendor. He is responsible for leading the home in spiritual matters, moral vision, and prayer, serving humbly rather than dominating.

The wife is called to model the Church, submitting to her own husband. Submission is a disposition to recognize and honor her husband’s greater responsibility to lead, and an inclination to follow his leadership. Critically, this submission is never absolute; the wife’s supreme authority remains Christ, meaning she must never follow her husband into sin. Even when resisting a sinful request, she should strive to maintain a spirit of submission, seeking to win him through quiet, sacrificial love.

By fulfilling these God-ordained roles, the couple redeems the distortions of the Fall—transforming male domination and female insubordination into loving headship and willing submission, thereby magnifying divine realities.

Reformed Theologian GPT: https://chat.openai.com/g/g-XXwzX1gnv-reformed-theologian

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