When someone says “I think I want out,” most couples are shoved into panic, not a plan. We sat down with Dr. Becky Whetstone—marriage crisis manager, author of I Think I Want Out, and long‑time advocate for evidence‑based help on the brink—to unpack what actually works when a relationship feels like it’s collapsing in real time. Becky explains the missing piece in traditional training, why so many therapists go quiet at the worst moment, and how to guide a couple through the most volatile ninety days without making things worse.

We explore her cornerstone idea of the “decider” and the “leaning‑in partner,” and why stabilization is the first intervention. You’ll learn how to choose a directive, credentialed professional who will name patterns, teach skills, and spot underlying mental health issues that can shape every decision. We get real about faith‑based counseling, the difference between licensed care and well‑meaning coaching, and the damage done by shaming or simplistic advice. From there, Becky maps two structured paths: a time‑bound, therapist‑guided separation that tests real change, or a clear route to an amicable divorce that protects kids, finances, and dignity.

We also dig into the everyday forces that push couples apart—parenthood’s chaos, identity shifts, deferred dreams—and how to rebuild connection with practical, teachable skills. Becky shares resources for co‑parenting, blending families, and keeping communication sane, plus why support groups and short, intentional “wallow” windows can speed healing. If you’re contemplating a breakup, fighting to repair, or helping a friend through the fog, this conversation offers a calm, smart roadmap for making the next right move.

If this episode helped you think or breathe easier, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review—your feedback keeps these conversations going.

Dr. Becky Whetstone's Info:

Website | https://marriagecrisismanager.com/
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/relationshipcrisismanager/
X | https://x.com/DoctorBecky
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/doctorbecky/
LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/becky-whetstone-ph-d-33866211/
Medium | https://medium.com/@doctorbecky

Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.

Sarah Thress
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