Two weeks ago I was finishing the five day Outeniqua Trail in the dense forests of South Africa’s Garden Route. Outeniqua is one of those musical words that has persisted from the original humans that were part of this lush landscape. It means ‘those who bear honey.’ A week prior I was overlooking the Valley of Desolation in the Karoo which the KhoiSan called Camdeboo…‘green pool.’

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I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding — John O'Donohue

Where the colonial settlers saw absence (a valley of desolation) the first people saw bounty (green pools). The gifts of our natural world are honoured in these original names — a smidgen of green in a dry place, the bee’s liquid gold prior to the gold rush that brought prospectors flocking from around the globe to our first night on the trail, Millwood. The beautiful old house we slept in was built for an early forester. These wild tangled primeval forests still ring with scars of ‘Timber!’ and ‘Gold!’ haunted by a lonely ellie or two, where once there were oh so many.

I laid my hand on the mossy massive trunk of an Outeniqua Yellowwood, it’s crown hidden from view high above my head, and whispered: ‘Thank you for being bigger than us.’ Back in Plett I held my granny’s hand for the last time, while stroking her silver hair, she whispered: ‘I’m ready to let go.’

I am rooted but I flow — Virginia Woolf

In the misty rolling green hills of Kwa-Zulu Natal, by grace, there was a profound letting go of the many stresses and anxieties of 2024, while gently being held by the Buddhist Retreat Centre. After splashing in the warmth of Umdloti’s sea, I emerged salty, to find a blue candle washed up on those brown sugar sands…the very one that had been promised me in my Medicine Woman card, pulled at the close of our BRC retreat. The energy of Yemaya, Spirit of Water, Mother of us All, ushered in the next retreat at Sashwa in the Greater Kruger National Park.

A Woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself – Maya Angelou

Yemaya is the Water spirit of the Yoruba in West Africa. She is celebrated throughout the diaspora as mother of all. And so we began our retreat by singing and dancing around a fire on the banks of the Olifants River.

Yemaya assessu; Assessu YemayaYemaya Olodo; Olodo Yemaya

A literal translation from the Yoruba language would be:

Yemanja is the Gush of the Spring.The Gush of the Spring is Yemanja.The Mother of the Children of Fishes is the Owner of Rivers.

This chant celebrates the joining of river to sea, that longed for union where part becomes whole. The drop realises it is the ocean. I floated in Sashwa’s heavenly salt pool watching elephant families frolic in the waters named for them, although the Olifants River is also known as Lepelle (slow flowing) or iBhalule (long stretched out one) by the BaPedi people who have lived here for 600 years. She enters the Indian Ocean at Xai Xai in Mozambique.

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man — Heraclitus

Together we walked in the bush and came across many wonders — from the caterpillars that only live on the carpets of squill lillies, to an African Rock Python slumbering on the banks of our river. Darling Storm was our guide to paying close attention to, as was her refrain, Mama.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy — Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi

We practiced Qi Gong beneath the shade of a Jackalberry and meditated on an ancient koppie. We listened deeply to one another and to the natural world.

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day — A.A. Milne

Our art making and game drives, our gentle yoga practices and song circles, all brought us deeper into peaceful presence.

Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong – Lao Tzu

We ate the most delicious vegan cuisine, and were treated with the utmost kindness by our hosts. Darling Sadia gifted us a boogie beneath the stars. And her gorgeous girls.

Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire— Jorge Luis Borges

By the time my family came to collect me I was deeply surrendered to Bush time. The heat was quite a force to contend with, indeed it demanded full surrender. We spent a week travelling through Kruger appreciating the Little Five (or more) as much as the lions with their giraffe kill, the packs of frisky wild dogs and hippos groaning in the scorching midday sun. When it’s 48 degrees the requirement is slowing down.

May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children — Rainer Maria Rilke

Our next stop was Golden Gate National Park where we sat in ancient caves and enjoyed the coolth of thunderstorms and more than one night in just one place. We met up with my parents in Nieu-Bethesda and soaked up that particular dusty charm before our family Christmas in Plettenberg Bay.

Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going— Mary Oliver

A new year is upon us. Last week we honoured my dear grandpa’s birthday, four years since he departed and I felt his shadow fall on me in the Karoo. And my gran’s last breath just yesterday. The fires rage in my erstwhile home of California, but here in the Cape things are relatively calm on the precipice of a new school year, my daughter’s last. I give thanks for moments of peaceful presence.

May we allow all things to move through us. Deeply honouring our course as it unfolds.

Take hold of your own life.

See that the whole existence is celebrating.

These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious.

The rivers and the oceans are wild,

and everywhere there is fun,

everywhere there is joy and delight.

Watch existence,

listen to the existence and become part of it.

— Osho

You can join me for Qi Gong on the Noordhoek Common in Cape Town Saturdays at 8:30 am. Any donations will go to a local charity, since I offer this as community sewa (selfless service). We can rotate monthly through the local NPOs who offer so much to so many. Starting with Masicorp who are busy equipping children for the new school year.

Human beings are made of water–-we were not designedto hold ourselves togetherrather run freelylike oceanslike rivers

— Beau Taplin

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Episode: https://charisselouw.substack.com/p/river-of-feelings

Podcast: https://mypod.online

Episode: https://charisselouw.substack.com/p/river-of-feelings

Podcast: https://mypod.online