Pain and Belonging
This episode is about the pain that is associated with not feeling like you belong. Feeling left out or too different, is unfortunately not something that is exclusive to children. We discuss what the experts say about managing the pain and have gained a much better understanding of what it really means to "belong" anyway. Join us!
Cassaundra: Ice Maker
Britt: Oli Pop Strawberry vanilla soda
Brene Brown: Braving the Wilderness
Study that shows how the brain is distressed by exclusion.
Why Rejection Hurts
Belonging in the workplace
Worthiness and Belonging
"As it turns out, men and women who have the deepest sense of true belonging are people who also have the courage to stand alone when called to do that. They are willing to maintain their integrity and risk disconnection in order to stand up for what they believe in," Brown said.
Brown said that when we "fit in" as opposed to "belong," we acclimate to the situation instead of standing for our authentic self.
We are more sorted than we have ever been in the history of the U.S. We have built ideological bunkers. We are more likely now to live with, worship with, and go to school with people who are politically and ideologically likeminded," Brown said.
While logic may suggest that this "sorting" results in more people feeling a sense of belonging, Brown warns these connections are "counterfeit."
"It's not real connection. All it is – I call it 'common enemy intimacy,' the only thing we have in common is we hate the same people," Brown said. "We're becoming more lonely as we're becoming more Balkanized."
The solution, as Brown sees it, is to focus on what connects us as human”