In this episode, Lauren continues exploring the connection between behavior and the nervous system, focusing on the stress responses known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. She encourages us to look beyond the surface of behaviors like hitting, screaming, or shutting down and ask what’s driving them. These reactions aren’t choices—they’re subconscious responses to feeling unsafe.

Lauren breaks down how each state might show up in children: fight can look like defiance or aggression, flight might look like restlessness or avoidance, freeze can show up as silence or disconnection, and fawn often appears as people-pleasing or over-apologizing. Rather than correcting or controlling these behaviors, she urges adults to meet children where they are. Regulation must come before reasoning. When we name what we see, notice the cues, and respond with calm and care, we help children feel safe and can start to make change. 

Resources:

Steven Porges- Polyvagal Theory

Other related resources from Five Ives: 

Blog Post: 

• Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)
• Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in Crisis
• What are the Five Ives?

Podcast:

• Part 1: Behavior isn't the Problem
• Hive- The Last Stage of the Five Ives
• Thrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives
• Strive- The Third Stage of the Five Ives
• Revive- The Second Stage of the Five Ives
• Survive- The First Stage of the Five Ives
• What are the Five Ives?
• A Five Category Regulation Framework - Five Ives!
• Using Our 5-Category Regulation Framework in the Workplace
• Impacting Organizational Culture: Explaining the First 2 Ps
• Impacting Organization Culture: Explaining the Second 2 Ps

Our Online Programs: 

• Behavior Breakthrough
• Policing Under Pressure
• Board Governance Training
• Behavior Breakthrough Online Summer Course

Subscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain!

• Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!
• Five Ives Website website
• The Behavior Hub blog

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