Paul Reiser + Joel McHale (Carolla Classics)

Update: 2024-08-03

Digest

The Cruel Classics podcast, a spin-off of the Adam Carolla Show, presents a collection of highlights and fan-made clips from the show's 15-year history. This episode features a conversation with guest Paul Reiser, known for his roles in "Mad About You" and "Aliens," where they discuss airport security and the absurdity of certain rules. The episode also delves into Adam Carolla's disdain for the Toys for Tots charity, arguing that it's a misrepresentation of true charity and that celebrities should donate their own money instead of relying on fans. Adam continues his rant about service dogs on airplanes, recalling a personal experience with a dog fight in first class and proposing a solution involving testing the engines with service dogs to reduce the number of bogus service animals. The hosts also discuss a study suggesting that it's normal to imagine one's spouse dead, and that this fantasy can actually strengthen the relationship. They share their own experiences with this phenomenon, emphasizing the importance of respect and appreciation for one's partner. The conversation shifts to a humorous take on capital punishment, suggesting an air cannon as a more humane and efficient method. The idea is presented as a solution to the high cost of keeping prisoners on death row and the ethical concerns surrounding traditional execution methods. The hosts also discuss a Japanese fragrance company developing a scent that mimics the smell of a cat's forehead, debating the absurdity of the idea and the potential motivations behind it. They delve into a poll revealing the top reasons parents lie to their children, discussing common lies about death, Santa Claus, and their own past partying habits. The conversation turns to the Elf on the Shelf tradition, with one host expressing his disdain for the holiday gimmick, describing it as a "bean bag gargoyle" designed to torment him and criticizing its purpose. The hosts discuss the introduction of a new class of airline seats called "Last Class," which is essentially the worst of the worst, mocking the concept and highlighting the absurdity of airlines offering such a low-quality option. The episode features an interview with Carlton Hughes, co-showrunner of the popular TV series "Lost," where they discuss his new show "Colony," a futuristic science fiction series set in Los Angeles, and the challenges of creating high-quality television content in a competitive market. The hosts discuss the impact of the show "Lost" on viewers, with one host admitting he never got caught up in the series due to fear of becoming obsessed. They share anecdotes about people who binge-watched the entire show in a short period, highlighting the show's addictive nature. The hosts discuss a news story about 17 minors rescued from a salt mine in upstate New York, reflecting on the changing nature of work and the potential for future generations to have different experiences than their parents. They suggest that dying in a salt mine might be a preferable fate to working in a cubicle. The hosts discuss Jaden Smith's new role as the face of Louis Vuitton's women's wear line, expressing amusement at the idea of a young man modeling women's clothing and sharing anecdotes about their own encounters with people who have unique and sometimes bizarre personal styles. The hosts discuss a news story about a woman who was arrested for drunk driving but had her charges dismissed due to a rare condition called auto brewery syndrome, debating the validity of the defense and the potential for it to be used by others. They discuss Macy's restructuring and the elimination of 4,500 jobs, attributing the company's struggles to the rise of online shopping and the changing consumer habits. The hosts discuss a German carpenter's invention of a valve that allows men to turn the flow of sperm on and off with a flick of a switch, debating the practicality and potential implications of this invention. The hosts discuss the importance of protecting one's identity in the digital age and promote LifeLock, a service that helps prevent identity theft. They highlight the increasing prevalence of identity theft and the need for such services in a world where personal information is readily available online. The hosts discuss the value of classic cars, particularly those that have been stored in barns for decades, debating the potential selling price of a 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona that was recently discovered in a barn in Alabama. The hosts discuss a phone call they received from actor Joel McHale, who is known for his comedic roles in shows like "Community" and "The Soup." They share anecdotes about McHale's personality and his dedication to his daughter, who is a fan of Taylor Swift. The hosts discuss the reboot of the popular TV series "The X-Files" and express their excitement for the new season. They also touch upon a news story about roller coasters collapsing, leading to a humorous exchange about the dangers of amusement park rides. The hosts discuss a new piece of technology that allows for remote surveillance of audiences, leading to a discussion about the potential uses and implications of such technology. They also explore the idea of a unicycle with automatic balance control, suggesting it could be a new form of fitness equipment. The story begins with the narrator's unicycle being borrowed by a friend, Chris. Chris later throws the unicycle in the narrator's backyard, but it disappears. The narrator's mom tries to get it back from Chris's mom, but it's gone. The narrator and his friend discuss the possible fates of the unicycle: Chris might have sold it, it might have been stolen, or the narrator's mom might have just told Chris's mom to keep it. The narrator shares that every year for his birthday, he receives multiple unicycles from friends who feel bad about the unicycle incident. He prefers watches, but unicycles have become a recurring birthday theme. The narrator attempts to teach his daughter how to ride a unicycle, but she quickly gives up. He reflects on how few people he knew growing up who rode unicycles. The narrator discusses his children's preferences for toys, noting that his younger daughter loves hoverboards while his older daughters are not interested. He compares this to the difference in interest between his children and himself regarding Minecraft. The narrator describes a phenomenon where his son falls over when exposed to pollen. He compares this to the "Hand of God" and discusses the various ways his son reacts to different environmental factors. The narrator reminisces about a time when his dad would communicate with him through a trumpet mouthpiece. He wonders how it worked and how his dad felt comfortable having deep conversations through this method. The narrator discusses his dad's reluctance to say "I love you" back, attributing it to his dad's South Philly upbringing. He argues that this is not an excuse but rather a cultural difference. The narrator mentions a Paul Newman documentary he made about car racing. He asks his dad if he's seen it, but his dad claims he hasn't. The narrator offers to give his dad a copy. The narrator expresses frustration with his dad's behavior during lunch, calling it the worst lunch he's ever had. He threatens to make his dad walk home. The narrator mentions Joe McHale and the X-Files. He encourages listeners to watch the X-Files, which will be available on Monday. He also promotes his upcoming shows at Caroline's and Sans Bethlehem. The narrator discusses the Morth Theater, a venue with a balcony that was traditionally reserved for Hispanic people. He acknowledges the offensive term "beaner" and clarifies that he did not name the balcony. The narrator and Joe McHale engage in a heated debate about the history of Hispanics in Seattle. The narrator claims to know more about the topic than Joe, who challenges him to look up the information. The narrator criticizes Joe for being judgmental and claims that Joe won't find any evidence of him being dumb online. He jokes that Joe's online presence is filled with pictures of him being smart. The narrator and Joe continue their debate, with the narrator claiming to know what Joe knows and what he doesn't know. He suggests that Joe should use the term "beaner" in his Seattle show. The narrator reflects on his homeschooling experience and how it helped him win a debate against Joe McHale. He thanks Joe for letting him store a car at his place. Joe Koi joins the show and discusses his upcoming tour dates, including Orlando, Detroit, and Las Vegas. He also mentions his ongoing home remodel, which is driving him crazy. Joe Koi talks about the excessive building codes in California, particularly regarding retaining walls. He questions the necessity of these codes, comparing them to security measures at airports. Joe Koi expresses his frustration with the constant demands for money during his home remodel. He feels like he's being scammed because he doesn't see any work being done. Joe Koi mentions that he walked through Joel's new house and pointed out various things to him. He enjoys walking through people's houses and pointing out potential improvements. Joe Koi complains about the city's bureaucracy and the challenges of getting work done on his house. He describes an incident where a contractor didn't knock on his door and left a notice hammered into his cement pillar. Joe Koi compares the experience of dealing with city inspectors to being in a concentration camp. He feels like he's being treated unfairly and that he has no power to fight back. Joe Koi recounts a frustrating experience with a city inspector who insisted on fire sprinklers despite the plans stating otherwise. He had to hire a certified guy to do the plans and engineering, only to be told by the city that the sprinklers weren't necessary. Joe Koi compares city inspectors to flight attendants on a never-ending flight. He describes how he's gotten into arguments with flight attendants and how they can make your life miserable if you piss them off. Joe Koi argues that the city should reimburse him for the error made by the inspector. He worries about what will happen next time he needs an inspection because the inspector is now angry with him. He believes that city inspectors are all friends and form a "click." Joe Koi promises to visit Gary's house on Wednesday. He then discusses a song he's working on with his band, El Chicano, which has a "bushy" theme. Joe Koi explains that the song is about a "bushy pussy" and that they want to tour Asia with it. He asks for help from a guest musician to add some "local color" to the song. Joe Koi and the guest musician discuss the song's lyrics and how they might need to change them for the Asian market. The guest musician expresses his opinion on the song, which Joe finds annoying. Joe Koi and the guest musician decide to create a B-side version of the song with a "bushy" theme. They agree to cut the B-side after they return from their tour. The guest musician expresses his annoyance at being made fun of and argues that minorities should join together. He then compares the Adam Corolla show to a show in his country called the "Bing Long show." Joe Koi decides to go on the tour by himself, calling it the "Pushy Pussy Tour" in Saigon. He claims that in his country, he can take any name he wants. Joe Koi expresses his frustration with the day's events, saying that it's been a tough day. He then promotes his upcoming show at the Park Avenue Tavern in New York City.

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