Welcome back to Becoming: HER, the podcast where we explore the real, raw, and remarkable journey of stepping into who we’re meant to be.

Today, I’m joined by Lisa Candera, a single mom, attorney, ADHD-er, and autism mom coach whose work is changing the narrative around resilience, motherhood, and self-regulation.

Lisa is the host of The Autism Mom Podcast, which ranks in the top 2%, and her upcoming book dives deep into what it means to be a “solid object” for your child, not fixing, not co-escalating, but standing steady in the storm.

In a world that tells moms to “tough it out,” Lisa is helping women rewrite that story, to find peace not through pushing harder, but through accepting change and regulating ourselves first.

We’re going to talk about the myths that keep autism moms stuck in guilt and shame, the “tough it out” mentality that’s quietly burning women out, and what real strength and peace can look like when we lead from self-awareness and compassion. Tune in! 

In this episode…

• Hope to parents 
• Toughing it out vs. not toughing it out 
• Being a GOOD human being 
• Labels 
• The evolvement of autism 
• Support groups 
• The autism umbrella 
• Toolbox 

Quotes 

“It really takes self-aware adults to raise self-aware children.” - Nikki Spo 

“The first step is to understand what your triggers are as a parent. It's never the behavior, it's always so much underneath that.” - Lisa Candera 

Timestamps: 

0:00 - 4:00 | Intro 

4:00 - 4:50 | Bottle lessons up & deliver them 

4:50 - 8:40 | Lisa’s perspective on resilience 

8:40 - 10:45 | The labels…

10:45 - 12:10 | Self-regulation as an adult 

12:10 - 20:25 | How autism has evolved 

20:25 - 23:35 | Community 

23:35 - 28:10 | Thinking its a “phase” 

28:10 - 33:20 | Mothers instinct 

33:20 - 38:05 | Being held captive by your self 

38:05 - 40:20 | A crisis point 

40:20 - 42:35 | Pausing before reacting 

42:35 - 48:05 | Toolbox for parents 

48:05 - 52:40 | Assigning meaning 

52:40 - 53:50 | Difference between our closet & our brain 

53:50 - 57:35 | Qualities that make autism special 

57:35 - 1:00:46 | Outro 

To every mom listening: You are doing your best in circumstances that don’t always make space for softness, and that’s exactly why conversations like this matter.

If today’s episode resonated with you, go follow Lisa and listen to The Autism Mom Podcast, her work is a lifeline for any parent walking this journey.

And as always, thank you for tuning in to Becoming: HER. I’m Nikki Spoelstra, and I’ll see you next week as we continue learning, growing, and becoming, together.

—

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Connect with Lisa Candera 

theautismmomcoach.com

@theautismmomcoach  

Connect with Nikki 

www.nikkispo.com  

@nikkisappspo / @wearebecoming_her

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