Surviving infidelity requires a great deal of honesty, maturity and excellent counseling. Dr. Andrea has an enlightening conversation with her guest, Todd Malloy, who invites you to become present, honest and sincere in every moment.

That sounds perfect for this show – liberate your authentic self. But how easy would it be for you to be present honest and sincere in the moment you have to tell your partner that you’re not happy in the relationship or not satisfied sexually?

Todd says that infidelity is a symptom of a deeper problem. His work as a therapist is leading the individual and couples deeper into their own minds and hearts to get at the root cause. The healing journey reveals much more profound wounds, misconceptions and even unidentified trauma.

This interview sheds a light on a path to discovering what really makes you tick, what motivates one to cheat and how to repair after the affair.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Todd Malloy, MA, LMFT, CST, CSE

http://innerpeacecounselingcenter.com/

http://mancaveconversations.com/

Clinical Director Inner Peace Counseling Center Producer & Host of Mancave Conversations

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, Member of AASECT Ethic Advisory Committee

As an authority on relationships and sexuality, Todd Malloy has been providing counseling and therapy for over twenty years. Six (6) years ago, he founded Inner Peace Counseling Center located in Charlotte, NC, USA, to create a safe space where emotional, sexual and personal healing could occur. IPCC offers people a chance to maximize and celebrate their Lives. As clinical director of Inner Peace Counseling Center, he has established a haven where he can connect and partner with individuals and couples in times of emotional ebbs and flows, the crossroads of life, infidelity, rekindling intimacy, sexual skill development, and the many dimensions of sexuality. It is beyond counseling. It is empowering others to live a life worth celebrating.

His latest venture is “Man Cave Conversations”, a forum to inform men in the areas of manhood, relationships, sexual health, intimacy, passion and beyond and provides women a bird’s eye view of what men talk about.

Music Credits:

“No Words (Mosquito Beat)” by David Cutter Music

“Rewind” by Blue Wednesday

“Apple Pie & Butterflies” by Blue Wednesday

“Vibe with Me” by JOAKIM

Today’s guest invites you to become present, honest and sincere in every moment. Now that sounds perfect for this show, Liberate Your Authentic Self but how easy would it be for you to be present, honest and sincere in the moment you have to tell your partner that you’re not happy in the relationship, or not satisfied sexually.

As an authority on relationships and sexuality, Todd Malloy has been providing counseling and therapy for over 20 years. Six years ago, he founded the Inner Peace Counseling Center located in Charlotte, North Carolina to create a safe space where emotional and sexual and personal healing could occur. The Inner Peace Counseling Center offers people a chance to maximize and celebrate their lives. As Clinical Director of the Inner Peace Counseling Center, Todd has established a safe haven where he can connect and partner with individuals and couples in times of emotional ebbs and flows – the crossroads of life. Infidelity, rekindling intimacy, sexual skill development and the many dimensions of sexuality.

This goes well beyond the basic counseling. It is empowering others to live a life worth celebrating. Todd’s latest venture is Man Cave Conversations, a forum to inform men in the areas of manhood, relationships, sexual health, intimacy, passion and beyond and provides women a bird’s eye view of what men talk about in Man Cave Conversations.

I think you’re going to enjoy today’s conversation. It’s definitely been an eye opener for me.

Welcome to Liberate Your Authentic Self with Dr. Andrea Pennington, the prescription for living your life out loud. Tune in daily to get fired up with insight and inspiration for purposeful living, conscious relationships and soulful success.

Andrea: Well Todd Malloy, it is wonderful to have you with us here at Liberate Your Authentic Self. Thank you for being here.

Todd: Appreciate it. It’s a pleasure. It’s always a pleasure to connect and share information.

Andrea: Well Todd, I know that you are on a mission to go beyond your clinical practice there in the United States and to really start helping people in a much broader scale. And one of the key things about your mission that of course, you know speaks to me is this mission to join people in giving themselves permission to be their most authentic and most empowered selves. And I know that part of your framework or methodology relies on these very simple but very challenging concepts and that is to be present, honest and sincere in every moment. Where did that come from?

Todd: Well really it’s been through my own personal journey. Obviously therapeutically I’ve learned a lot of therapeutic modalities. A matter of fact, you have these specifically really resonated with me and mostly in form of this therapy developed by Sue Johnson. It really resonated with me when I think about my perspective as that most of us, most people, my perspective, are traumatized. Traumatized not because you’re just in a war torn area or you have some awful things happen to you but by systemic design. Outside of systemical oppression and family dysfunction.

The trauma is a result of being when you were a kid you were supposed to be seen and not heard. When you get a little older, you get older and you think you can say something. I’m a teenager now, I can say some things. But then you’re told if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Just be quiet. Then we get older, you have to be politically correct.

So when do people… where are people able to tap into who they are, what their thoughts are, validate their own feeling and experience and given the tools to articulate them.

Well consciously or subconsciously, people are to some degree said to go along with the program. Just accept what’s being given to you and do the best you can with that. Don’t connect inward.

You have to highly, well my perspective or mostly focus therapy says people come from a perspective where people are emotionally repressed. And it’s to get people to tap into their emotions and speak from that perspective.

Now that resonated with me. Over time with my own personal journey, me being an internal martial artist and having some working knowledge with Taoism, things of that nature, I’ve come into the importance and the understanding of now. And now is that, from my perspective, the most powerful time that exist because if we can be present and in the moment and recognizing what all of our resources are and really tap into what our experiences, by sharing our experience with others helps to create the environment for our success and for the healthiest communication.

Andrea: Well that all sounds well and good. Being present, tuning in to our emotions. But the other piece of it is honest and sincere in every moment. And I know that in your work as a marriage and family therapist, you see cases of infidelity, right?

Todd: Oh, yes. Very often.

Andrea: That to me seems like probably the most challenging time for a person to be sitting in front of their former beloved and they’ve got to be present, honest and sincere in those moments. And in fact, when you told me the story of Javier, that is not his real name, ladies and gentlemen. We are protecting his identity. But the story that you told me about how you helped him be present, honest and sincere in every moment as he and his wife came to you for relationship issues. That one kind of blew my mind. So can you tell me that story?

Todd: Well I can but let me process it first. And when I work with infidelity, the infidelity is not the focal point. Actually infidelity is a result of things that were happening and that were being experienced prior to. That’s a symptom not the cause.

Andrea: Got it.

Todd: But first when I work with anybody, I help them understand that that’s a symptom and not a root cause. And when you come to my office, they’re not looking to separate or divorce initially. They come in to gain a level of understanding first in order to make decisions going forward whether it is to divorce or stay together. Some people choose just to stay together but they need to work through those issues. However but to address it is not okay. “He did this.” “She did that.” Or whatever the case may be. It’s, what wer