DiscoverTopic LordsPurpleface's Face Isn't Purple
Purpleface's Face Isn't Purple

Purpleface's Face Isn't Purple

Update: 2020-03-30


Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!




  • Doing video game music.

  • Breaking a problem into subproblems.

  • An unusual form of synesthesia where you perceive Tetris pieces as personalities.

  • Making rude buzzer noises when the guest gets it wrong.

  • The Tetris I-piece being egotistical and always late when you need it most.

  • Siblings who are not identical but are mistaken for identical.

  • The stem cell of Tetris pieces.

  • The Tetris T-piece being useful for opening coconuts because it's shaped like a bottle opener.

  • Playing Tetris without realizing that you can rotate the pieces.

  • The Tetris T-piece standing for Trauma.

  • Not realizing you push B to run in Super Mario Bros. because it doesn't do anything when you're not moving.

  • The smell of candles reminding you of the holidays.

  • Finding the cologne that speaks to your soul and wearing it literally every day.

  • A cartoon character design except it's how you smell.

  • Bringing around an MP3 player to play your theme song on loop as you walk around campus.

  • Testing how long you can listen to the Bubble Bobble theme.

  • Eating only carrots for a week because you want to really feel the fine distinctions between each individual carrot.

  • The particular mix of sweat and grass that makes you think of playing soccer.

  • Not being able to think of the word for when the water in a river is extremely busy.

  • The idealized smells of Frog Fractions 2 where everything smells like candy because of all the bright colors.

  • Going to sleep being the worst thing but your son going to sleep being the best thing.

  • Reading your child books about sleeping to convince them that sleeping is a good thing.

  • Refusing to teach your child about how certain activities are for boys and some are for girls, but then they learn about it in school anyway.

  • Having vivid dreams and taking ideas from them to use in fiction.

  • Hating to go to sleep and hating to wake up so maybe what you actually hate is just the transition one way or the other.

  • Wanting to go to sleep but going into a depressive spiral instead.

  • Reminiscing about making art as a hobby.

  • Doing the same amount of work but not burning out because you change the kind of work you're doing.

  • Creativity through limitations.

  • Getting to the point where you can afford to say no to freelance projects.

  • Having an audience and feeling obligated to serve the audience literally all the time.

  • Making dinner as an act of creative fulfillment.

  • Baking intuitively by just putting ingredients in a pan until it feels right.

  • Giving your guest baker a challenge ingredient to incorporate into their cake.

  • Picking activities that force you to not be perfect.

  • Forcing everybody to read a sentence from your novel before they get a cookie.

  • Whether "smartass" is really a swear.

  • Finding 11 socks in your desk at the end of the school year.

  • Both a raven and a writing desk having legs, but different numbers of legs.

  • Whether desks lay eggs to reproduce.

  • Finding the image that is exactly halfway between a raven and a writing desk.

  • Never having been sick as often as when you worked in a bounce house birthday party place.

  • Schoolteachers no longer getting sick because they've gotten literally every disease.

  • Putting the curry inside of the flatbread like they do in Toronto.

  • The relief of seeing a stray cat you haven't seen in a while.

  • A cat named Purrcy.

  • Arranging music for a friend and your band mates being excited to record it.

  • Artists appreciating art you made for them more than non-artists would.

  • Giving grandma your new noisecore album for Christmas.

  • Grandma sticking your new noisecore album to the fridge with a magnet.

  • Someone asking to read your fiction and then actually reading it.

  • A gift secretly being a demand for the recipient's time.

  • A gift made not just for somebody but made with their needs in mind.

  • Laura, Lauren, Laurie, and Laurel all being the same name if you think about it.

  • Profundity on demand.

Support Topic Lords

Download from Google Play
Download from App Store








Sleep Timer


End of Episode

5 Minutes

10 Minutes

15 Minutes

30 Minutes

45 Minutes

60 Minutes

120 Minutes

Purpleface's Face Isn't Purple

Purpleface's Face Isn't Purple

Jim Stormdancer