Why Do Jewish? Love, Obligation, and the Courage to Show Up

Imagine a familiar conversation in any household across the world.

“Do we have to go to the school concert tonight?”
There’s no law. No statute. No external requirement.

And yet—you go.

Why? Because love creates obligation. Not the other way around.

That deceptively simple truth sits at the heart of my conversation with Rabbi Rick Jacobs, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, on this episode of Martini Judaism.

For generations, Jews have argued about obligation. Traditional Jews often point to halacha—Jewish law—as the source of Jewish responsibility. Reform Jews, by contrast, have insisted on autonomy, conscience, and choice. So the question remains stubborn and unavoidable: Why do Jewish at all?

Rabbi Jacobs and I explore that question through the lens of relationship—an idea shared by three of the thinkers who shaped us both: Martin Buber, Franz Rosenzweig, and Eugene Borowitz. Each, in his own way, taught that Jewish obligation does not descend from heaven like a decree. It rises from love, belonging, and covenant.

Buber taught that mitzvot come alive when they are responses to encounter.
Rosenzweig insisted that commandment follows love, not the other way around.
Borowitz reminded Reform Jews that autonomy without commitment is hollow—and that obligation grows out of relationship with God, tradition, and the Jewish people.

You don’t attend your child’s concert because you signed a contract.
You go because you love your child—and because love binds.

Judaism works the same way.

This episode isn’t about guilt or coercion. It’s about relationship. And about the quiet, demanding truth that love creates the strongest obligation of all.

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