In today’s episode of rediscovHER, Mary Beth lets us know what she’s been up to in her efforts to rediscover herself. She goes over her dating experiences as someone over 50 and what she’s doing to give herself a fresh start in the world.

Five things Mary Beth is doing to rediscover herself

1. Looking through her baby book - Mary Beth is lucky her mom kept a detailed book of her life as a baby, even documenting her first ten pairs of shoes. Reading through the book makes her feel grounded in herself.
2. Read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. The book gives techniques to rediscover your inner creative spirit. Two tricks the book taught her: write every morning and take yourself out on dates.
3. Read Loving What Is by Byron Katie. You can also check Byron’s work on her website, thework.com.  Her method is similar to cognitive therapy and valuable if you have a grudge against somebody or if someone has made you angry. Mary Beth recommends the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, downloadable on the site.
4. She is slowing down and having quiet time to hear her inner voice. She uses that time to reflect on what truly makes her happy.
5. She’s listening to the people around her. Not people who tell her what to do, but those who answer questions she didn’t realize she had. 

Mary Beth’s Experience with Online Dating

• She matched with a man we’ll call Mr. Perfect last summer. Why was he perfect? Because he checked every single box Mary Beth was looking for.
• However, he didn’t start strong. It took him several months to make a first date with her, claiming he had to leave for the summer. Despite summer ending in September, he finally texted her in November. Let’s call that red flag #1.
• They scheduled a date for Monday, and it went well. She asked him what their next steps were, and he told her he was available for one hour Friday morning for breakfast. AKA red flag #2.

How many red flags can there be?

• Flag #3 - He didn’t make the best impression on their breakfast date. After the date, he said he had to go to Orlando for work, and he wouldn’t have time to see her anytime soon.
• Flag #4 - His doctor told him to limit socializing because of COVID, which is understandable. However, he only limited time with Mary.
• Flag #5 -  He returned from Orlando in early December but didn’t have any free time to see Mary Beth until Jan. 5.
• Flag #6 - He didn’t call or text Mary Beth during that entire time.

Please tell me she broke it off after that.

• Mary Beth blocked the guy after he was a no-show to their date in early February.
• Inspired by this event, Mary went through her contact list and deleted men who would just pop in and out of her life.
• She took a leap of faith. And she did that by ridding herself of negative people.

Mary Beth rekindles this red-flag relationship.

• Mr. Perfect tried to call her after she blocked him, and Mary thought that showed effort. 
• She reached out, and he apologized, saying he gave her reason not to trust him. She forgave him, and they scheduled a date for Friday evening.
• But the morning of, he called and canceled, claiming he had to see his sister in Orlando.
• Mary wasn’t surprised. On Saturday, she asked him if he wanted to go out, knowing he was free from a previous discussion. He said no because he had to self-reflect to be a better man.
• That was the final straw, and she blocked him once more.
• She looked him up again online and found he is married. She sent him a screenshot of his picture with his wife, and he tried to call Mary Beth to defend his honor. 

What are her takeaways from this relationship?

• Not everything people tell you is the truth. She wasn’t online dating for a while and was off her game.
• Don’t take it personally when men from the internet burn you. That’s just the way it is.

You can get in touch with host Mary Beth Rosebrough on Instagram.

MUSIC CREDIT: Andrew Rosebrough