Ben here. Today, Hesse and I begin the show by discussing a traumatic incident that left me screaming on a stepladder, picking a winner in a certain Dominican vs. Hasid showdown, and placing some bets on when Jacques will show up to work, diva.

Once he hops on, we turn our attention to today’s main event: Candace Owens’s ALLEGED muff-munching lesbianism. We examine all of her former dating profiles, guess her bra size, and begin to question the qualifications of the man who started all of this…which leads us to reading his very bad poetry.